Goodbye 2008! Hello 2009!!

I spend my last 2 minutes in year 2008 playing Solitaire and get on the phone with Anita. Haha, this is so out of my plan. This s not my best new year eve but hopefully I’ll get a wonderful year on 2009.. Yay!!!
Good bye 2008, HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!
My wish for 2009 :
- Graduate
- Losing some weight
- Do Backpacking travel
- Be a better person, a better friend, and a better daughter

So, happy new year everyone.. keep having faith in yourself, be positive, and keep on dream BIG!! We got to be dare to dream.. as much as possible, as high as the sky as wide as the universe!
WELCOME 2009!

O Happy X'mas

Merry Christmas!! I know it's kinda late, well I was in a rush yesterday and I got home pretty late so I don't have enough time to post this entry!! but there's no word to late and no moment to late to wish you all a very Happy Christmas!! may all the angels, stars, Santa, and peace be with you!!

I got up this morning at 07.50 (yesterday morning!), very very exited with this year christmas. I opened my door and gave my mom a big kiss on her cheeks and I replied on every single messages that came through the night. I went to TP with my big family, and we had a bad (super bad) lunch at the new location of The Duck King restaurant at TP. the service was just super not good, the food presentation and taste is not even so-so and it really really 2 thumbs down for this restaurant!!

After lunch, I got separated from my uncles and cousins. Then suddenly my uncle call me and told me to go to the Louis Vuiton store at Sheraton Hotel. then, he asked me to choose between 3 choices of LV handbags. And I choose the one on the left, the one in gray. (my uncle and I have already looking for the right bag for me since my birthday this year). And he bought it for me, YAy.. I got my first very own branded bag!! yay.. (I've only got to Betsey Johnson's Betsieville, never got Gucci, LV, Chloe or stuff like that's actually belong to me and only me not my momz or my aunties!)

Then we headed to ZARA and I get to buy my shoes, the shoes that I wanted 2 weeks ago. With the discount it goes down from 699.000 to 499.000.. yay!! and later at the night I go to Karaoke with my friends!!! let's "yay..." once again!!! lol... I got a lotz of fun these 2 days!!
So, Thank u Christmas day for bringing my famz and friends together!!
I hope I could get a great Christmas day for next year.. the year after next year.. and so on..

Happy Christmas everyone!!
may the force be with you, always!

O Holy Night

It's Christmas night!! yay.. I don't know why but I love christmas very very much!! even tough I'm an agnostic and I go to the church just to make my mom happy but I feel that Christmas is there for everyone. It's there for buddist, muslims.. just anyone! christmas is warming for me. It's a family moment where we share our happines and just have fun.
Just right after the boringness inside the church is over, my famz gather around.. together for the first time in more than 5 years on christmas eve! there're my uncles, aunties, cousins, my mom, and me. We gather at Imari restaurant, J.W. Marriot and we're just keep cheersing, saying merry christmas.. it was a lot of fun!! I think this is the best christmas eve I've ever got in the past 5 years (maybe more).
I believe this is the miracle, the answer to my hope (I hope I can gather around and have fun with my famz at christmas eve).. So, thank u GOD!! wherever and whatever you are!!

So.. I just want to say.. Merry Christmas everyone!!
I hope all of u got a very wonderful christmas!!!
may the force be with u, always!!!

MILK

"My name is Harvey Milk and I'm here to recruit you. "
Harvey Milk

I've just watched MILK, a movie about Harvey Milk, the first openly gay man to hold a major political position in Unites States, San Fransisco. Starring Sean Penn, one of the best actor of all time. This movie is very inspiring for me personally, I don't know why I got inspired by his action to fight for gay right.. but there's something about his personality, his easy going attitude, his ability to move anyone, or whatever.

"Hope will never be silent. " - Harvey Milk, 1978

Many gay people of the late 70s lived in the closet, so the election of an openly gay man was a major milestone in the gay political world and the personal lives of gay individuals. he is so brave..even if he got some assassination threats, Milk only said, "If a bullet should enter my brain, let that bullet destroy every closet door."
That's the day when his famous "HOPE SPEECH" :
"And the young gay people in the Altoona, Pennsylvanias and the Richmond, Minnesotas who are coming out and hear Anita Bryant in television and her story. The only thing they have to look forward to is hope. And you have to give them hope. Hope for a better world, hope for a better tomorrow, hope for a better place to come to if the pressures at home are too great. Hope that all will be all right. Without hope, not only gays, but the blacks, the seniors, the handicapped, the us'es, the us'es will give up. And if you help elect to the central committee and other offices, more gay people, that gives a green light to all who feel disenfranchised, a green light to move forward. It means hope to a nation that has given up, because if a gay person makes it, the doors are open to everyone."

On Nov. 27, 1978, Harvey Milk was shot twice in the head by conservative and disgruntled supervisor Daniel White. Milk's death made him a martyr. His supervisor seat was given to openly-gay politician Harry Britt. A year after Milk's death 100,000 people demonstrated for gay rights in Washington D.C. chanting "Harvey Milk Lives." He was also the inspiration for Cleve Jones' AIDS quilt and his bravery the catalyst for the modern day gay rights movement. Today, many gay social institutions are named after Harvey Milk, including The Harvey Milk School in New York City.

"The important thing is not that we can live on hope alone, but that life is not worth living without it." Harvey Milk - 1978

reference :
http://gaylife.about.com/od/gaycelebrityprofiles/p/harveymilkmilch.htm
http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/h/harvey_milk.html

Don't Stop

"No..no.. No but.. you're not allowed to give up.
You're not allowed to give up because you believe in you..guts, that this is right.
And..and.. and besides we're all inherited this absorb drives to make things that.. that..
Yeah they seem complicated and messy but we can turn them into something GREAT!"

Kitty Walker/McCalister from Brothers and Sisters

Yes, we're all have something that we want. Such as.. graduating from collage, getting a great job, etc. And the thing is, there're no easy way to something that we want. Because something that we got from a more complicated and hard way is gonna be something BIG.. Huge!!
It'll be a hard way, we'll spend times.. strengths.. hopes.. but the place we're going to.. it'll worth the try!
If we feel like going down, just take a short break.. redeem yourself, recharge and when you feel like going again... You GO!! we're a human being, with our own weaknesses, we're not perfect, we have our limit. So, it's okay to feel depressed or tired.. it's normal and it's okay!!
Just don't do back or STOP!

just like my friends, Anita and Suzie
the spend a lot of effort for the great KoLo
there're times when they feel like so tired, so stupid but.. they're not stopping, they're just taking a short break. Then, they go and fight again!!

congratz babes!!

Anita..FIGHTING!!!

You know I'm hoping you sing along
I know it's not your favorite song
don't wanna be there when there's nothing left to say
you know that some of us spin again
when you do, you need a friend
don't wanna be there when there's nothing left for me
and I hate to thought of finally being erased
baby that's the best of me

Daniel Powter - Best of Me

I dedicated this entry to my best friend, Anita. Who've been feeling down because of the great Kolokium judgment day is coming and she's the first to go!.. Wish u a very good luck babe! may all the stars come right upon you and give you the power, the confident and the magic.. Just want you to know that even if you fail it's not the end of the world!

So no one told you life was gonna be this way
Your jobs a joke, you're broke, your love life's D.O.A.

It's like you're always stuck in second gear
And it hasn't been your day, your week, your month,
or even your year
but..

I'll be there for you
When the rain starts to pour
I'll be there for you
Like I've been there before
I'll be there for you
'Cuz you're there for me too...

You're still in bed at ten
And work began at eight
You've burned your breakfast
So far... things are goin' great

Your mother warned you there'd be days like these
Oh but she didn't tell you when the world has brought
You down to your knees that...

I'll be there for you
When the rain starts to pour
I'll be there for you
Like I've been there before
I'll be there for you
'Cuz you're there for me too...

No one could ever know me
No one could ever see me
Seems you're the only one who knows
What it's like to be me
Someone to face the day with
Make it through all the rest with
Someone I'll always laugh with
Even at my worst I'm best with you, yeah

It's like you're always stuck in second gear
And it hasn't been your day, your week, your month,
or even your year...

Rembrandts - I'll be there for you

Isn't it Giving Up?

Paul Arden said "it's better to regret somethingthat you have done than haven't". He is also mention that we need to fight, trying, and keep hoping no matter what. But.. is there also the time that "we need to know when to let go"?
Well, in my own opinion, that's the same as giving up. What if, that was our chance? what if we got lucky? aren't we gonna regret it.
And the thing is for me, I believe that no matter what we've done or we'll do, we'll gain something from it. We'll gain experiences..knowledge.. we'll learn from it, so that we can fix it, we have that "+" so that we won't make the same mistake. SO, for me there's no "letting go". Even if they'll mock me or whatever, I'll keep on fighting! because letting do is just not my style. What about you?

Being Single And...

I'm single now..
is that status makes me a lonely girl?
I was wondering what about being single and happy.
But the thing is, even if we watched a lot of movies or series about a woman that's single, successful, and happy.. at the end of the day.. they'll find someone, that makes the story goes up to be a happy "not single" successful woman.

Do I really have to rush myself, finding a guy, just a guy so that I could fix myself in the word "taken". Well, the thing is I am happy with my condition right now. But for some people, and maybe me (sometimes) being single in the world of "pairs" just kinda "hurt" (sometimes). Especially in my culture, where woman at 20s should be "taken". If not they'll mark us as some kind of "not good enough" person.

Once again, is it wrong to be single at 20s???

I am not saying that I'm not open to relationship, but what I want is a real relationship where I can find someone that'll love me, someone that willing to protect me, makes me feel save, happy, comfortable and hopeful. I want someone that'll support me, that'll give me my freedom, respect and understanding. Not just some guy... I want a man..
And I'll get my hopes up on this one!! lol..

Another Try

"we like to think we're fearless, eager to explore unknown lands and suck up all new experiences. But the fact is, we're always terrified. Maybe the terrorists are part of the attraction. Some people go to horror movies, we cut things open. Dive in to dark water."

"And at the end of the day, isn't that would you rather to hear about?! If you got 1 drink and 1 friend and 45 minutes, smooth rides makes for boring story. A little calamity, that's worth talking about."

-Meredith grey-
Grey's Anatomy, season 5

Wow.. I did it myself, I listen and listen.. the I type it down.
I'm so in love with this quotes. know I've always said about getting out of my comfort zone, seeking for new experience, trying new things.. But, the truth is.. It's not that easy, sometimes I feel scare, what if my choice will turn into a disaster for me, what if.. what if..
I am scared, I am nervous and terrifies at the same time.
I've been down, rejected and disappointed so many times
But the thing is..
will I let my fears stop me?
will I let my regrets haunting me all time?
will I be brave enough to give it a try?

For me, everything worth the try.. every single thing that we do will give us something. it'll give us experiences, lesson.. so that we'll learn from it.
And time passed, it wont be repeated.. so instead of keep mourning over it, I guess.. give it another try won't cost me my life right?!
Failure is there.. whether it's big or small.. But, it's not the end of the world!

So What?!

AAAaaaaaRRrrGGhhhTTT...
I just want to scream.. I failed, again.. for the second time!!
it hurts, it's like really really hurt.. I feel so stupid and disappointed at myself!!

Well, atleast I feel that for a while.. just for a while
Haha.. so what if I fail?!
I won't stop trying.. I'm a fighter.. I know I can!!

Coldplay - Lost

Just because I'm losing
Doesn't mean I'm lost
Doesn't mean I'll stop
Doesn't mean I will cross

Just because I'm hurting
Doesn't mean I'm hurt
Doesn't mean I didn't get what I deserve
No better and no worse

I just got lost
Every river that I've tried to cross
And every door I ever tried was locked
Ooh-Oh, And I'm just waiting till the shine wears off...

You might be a big fish
In a little pond
Doesn't mean you've won
'Cause along may come
A bigger one
And you'll be lost

Every river that you tried to cross
Every gun you ever held went off
Ooh-Oh, And I'm just waiting till the firing starts
Ooh-Oh, And I'm just waiting till the shine wears off
Ooh-Oh, And I'm just waiting till the shine wears off
Ooh-Oh, And I'm just waiting till the shine wears off…

Blood Is Ticker Than Water

I've always said that it's doesn't matter where you're come from, doesn't matter what you've done in the past.. it's the future that you want to achieve that's matter. But the thing is we still can't forget or abandoning where are we came from. Who gave you life, who brought you to this world. I know world is not as pretty as heaven but it is real..
We've seen, heard, read about those people who've gained success but they kind of abandoning their past, they hide from it, they're lying to themselves, they're trying to cover it up, they feel ashamed about it. Well, for me.. if we came from a very painful past, then we can stand up strongly.. it is an achievement. It is an inspirational thing. Unless, you're getting it in a wrong way.
Maybe we can lie to the world, but we can't lie to ourselves. Blood is ticker than water. No matter where you are, what you've become you'll never get away from your past, especially our family. Because "it's" there.. the connection will last forever.

Laskar Pelangi

Laskar Pelangi.. “Rainbow Club” or whatever it’ll be in English, I don’t know.. yeah, I’ve just watched it thi afternoon. To be honest, I think this is Indonesia’s best movie so far. It’s not commercial, unlike others movie that showed a lot of sponsor’s products. The actors are great, like really great. The filming overall looks expensive, serious and it have lots of beautiful Belitung’s island sceneries. And it shows how peaceful the life between Tiong Hua’s and the Belitung’s people even with the kid that has mental problem. Another thing that make this movie great is that the children who play the children of Laskar Pelangi itself come from Belitung’s island too. They have no experience in acting before, but they do it naturally.
The movie is very inspiring, because we can see the spirit of those kids, who’s willing to learn and the teachers who’s willing to teach them with low payment. This movie told us about dreams, will, and hearts. It said that they don’t need numbers to divide their brightness, it’s all come from the heart. And we must never stop dreaming, chasing our own rainbow. Doesn’t matter where we came from, it’s what we willing to do in order to achieve our dream.
Most importantly, this movie shows us the value we’ll get from school, from learning, from experiencing. And it’s not just in material way, but we can learn from the nature, let the trees, animals, winds tell us what they know… It’s all come from the heart.

We're All Can Be A Superman

“Strength doesn’t open big iron doors, but a small key

We all have the key inside us to open the door to a new future.”

That’s the quote I got form a movie that I’ve just watched, A Man Once a Superman. It’s about a woman reporter, which specialized in human interest, so she film about any kind of weird or interesting human actions. One day, someone stole her bag then when she tries to cross over, she nearly got hit, but someone help her. He is a middle age man, who keeps saying that he is a superman. He doesn’t have any superpower because a bald guy put a kryptonite inside his head. But he keep helping people, such as help carrying elderly stuff, carry a man who is injured, helping elders that cross the road, etc. And he love to do story telling to the kids.

But.. the truth is, he is just a normal man, his father died when he was a little, but before his father leave he left him a message. Telling the boy to be good and help others like superman, so that one day he’ll be able to fly. And that night the boy goes outside and accidentally got a bullet trough his head, but he’s survived. Several years later, he’s driving with his wife and daughter, but they got into an accident. But no one help him, when he’s trying to help his daughter that stuck on the car, until the car exploded. Since than he’s claiming that he is a superman.

Then the doctors try to help him, by giving him pills to shut down his emotion and nerve system so he wont be able to feel angry, so he’s just like a robot. Until.. There’s a gas explosion and there’s a man stuck under a car, and he is trying to help him with his superpower. The car is moved, but not by his own power but.. There’re people helping him too.. until he get into the burning building to save his little friend, but they stuck on the 3^rd floor. So, he hold that girl and jump..

What I got from this movie, is not just about helping others. It got messages about global warming, what’s gonna happened. Such as Jaws attack, then no home for the polar bear and many more. Just like the quote above. We can help, we can change the future, the future is in our own hands. Maybe we have something to regret on the past, and we can’t change the past. But remember, WE CAN CHANGE THE FUTURE. It doesn’t have to be a big movement, we can start on a small step.. And one more thing, never lose your imagination. Never stop dreaming, have faith on it. Because believing and have faith on it, it’s like we’ve done half way to our goals. And that'll makes us, a Superman.

Honoring Dae Jo Yeung

I’ve been crying a lot for the past 2 days.. why? Because I’ve been watching Dae Jo Yong, Korean colossal drama, 136 episodes.. I know, wow.. it’s a very long journey.. Yeah, it’s a very very long story, I can’t even summarize it. Maybe you can get the story on http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dae_Jo_Yeong_(TV_series).

I got to give a two thumps up! To Choi Soo Jong who played Dae Jo Yeung. His voice is changing from the one when he was teenage ‘till he became a king. It’s incredible!! And it feels like the charisma of the general Dae Jo Young itself growing within time.. Let’s do some review now, shall we?!

There’s a lot of part of the series which I love, and makes me crying out loud!!

First, is the moment where the teenage Dae Jo Yeung met his mother (they were separated, in order to save Jo Yeung), but they were captured so they were tortured, ‘till his mom died. Then, there’s part where he was betrayed by Shila which make him loosed all of his men and got him near to death, which got him paralyze and loose hope. But the king sent him a message written by the king’s blood which makes Jo Yeung inspired and get back!!

Then, the part where he’s captured by Tang’s armies and he have to walk on the Tang’s street and everyone throw rock upon him, but his 2 sworn brothers Hae Suk Dol and GulsaBiwu protect him.. Then the part Heuksudol and Gyepilsamun stay behind to delay the army.. Gyepilsamun is killed by Li Kaigu's arrows, and Heuksudol stays to avenge him, got captured then they executed him..

And the where Geum Lan and Biwu were trapped and Geum Lan asked Biwu to carry him on his back to get them move faster (Geum Lan’s legs is broke), but her true intention is to protect Biwu’s back.. so she is killed by arrows because he’s protecting Biwu..HOoo.. actually this is the part where I cry the most, damn hate it!! And the last one is where Dae Jung Sang, JoYeung’s father is captured but when he is about to be on a hostage exchange time, he fought back the Tang’s to fuels the morale of the Goguryeo-Mohe’s armies.. he said there’re 3 things that’ll describe him. First he’s a goguryeon, Second, he is a warrior, and the last he is a father… SHUuuTTT!!!

Okay. You might think that I’m just being over react but the sacrifice that they willing to do without any hesitation just touching me. Their loyalty, their spirit and will to sacrifice themselves in order to protect something that values for them is just indefinable.

They asked nothing in return, all they asked is just “stay alive”.

Honoring

Remembering Denny Duquette

Denny Duquette, one of my fav character on TV of all time, played by Jeffrey Dean Morgan . From one of the best TV series ever, Grey's Anatomy. Yeah, he's a patient with heart problem, where he needs to get a heart transplant and he fell in love with the intern there, Izzie. They started as a friend, 'till she really really fell for him that makes her do all the crazy things to save his ass. But still.. when we tough it was going to be just fine.. he couldn't survive. He die.
But his character was very very generous, kind, loving, caring, and superb great guy. He's an optimist, he's carefree, and a very hopefull towards everything. Well off there's time when he fell down, when he feeling like give up.. Just being human, an ordinary one.
Here're some quotes from his character, as my way to thanks his character for being one of my inspiration :

"Sometimes you have to make big mistakes, to find out how to make things right"
"Mistakes are painful, but they're the only way to find out who you really are."
"Moments. That's all you get with the people you love."
"the things that I remember best – those are the things I wasn't supposed to do and I did them anyway. "
"The thing is : life is too damn short to be following these rules."
"Here's the good part, so you listen close, what I choose, is you. You're who I want to wake up with and go to bed with and do everything in between with. I get a choice now. I get to choose. I choose you."

It Aint A Sin

We love watching all the romantic movies, especially when it have a happy ending, then the guys are good looking and so do the girls. We love those romantic quotes, romantic scene, all about Love..
But when it comes to a movie, where the guys is actually having the happy ending with the other guy it’s all.. just.. not the same. Yes, we’ll called it gay movies.. or anything, whatever. People will be like “eww..” or keep swearing. Yes, in my country homosexuality is still RARE. Because of the religiously affect in my country, they kind of bands the same gender relationship. The most recent news is they’re trying to make rules to not let transgenders actors come out. They say it is a sin.
Screw them all, I am straight and I know that this rules about banding transgenders has nothing to do with me. But what happened with our will to express our self freely, without any boundaries and without judgments. Being gay or lesbian is not a sin for me. We’re just having a different type of interest. Being gay doesn’t mean we’re being a killer, or a corrupter rite?! And being straight doesn't make us a saint rite?!
We’re not better than them, we’re all the same, we’re a human being. With our freedom to express our self. And after watching several movies or series which include some gay issue inside it, I found that they’re just like us, they fight, they fell in love, they want marriage, they want family, they’re just human.

“I’m completely, completely in love with you. I even love the things about you that I hate, because you make me feel like I don’t have to be anyone other than who I am, and to me, that feels like family and that’s what I want us to be.”
-Kevin to Scotty –

That’s the line from brothers and Sisters. Not bad right?!^^
I know for some people, from some culture found this thing confusing.. but it's not cruel, it's not even a crime, and it's not making them all go straight to hell.. I believe that GOD doesn't matter with your sexual orientations, it's what you do that'll counts!!

Thank You

Mother..Father..Brothers..Sisters..Uncles..Aunts..GrandMa..

I am so damn lucky, to have it all.. and it’s not just saying I have them, but there’re bonding among us all. My family is a big young family, we’re the new faces of the new era. Yeah, my family is all about modernizations and we’re just like.. making our own creation of traditions. We call each others randomly unlike the traditional Chinese people with their own rules, which was just really really confusing.

More about my famz, we’re always gathering together. Almost everyday, and mostly at my grandma’s. There’ll a lot of great foods everyday, which make my diet plan completely destroyed.. not just foods there’ll be lots of gossips. Yeah, you know one news in my famz can travel through all the members by minutes. Everybody just keeps trying to inform everybody.

Haha, actualy this topics came out of my mind just as I watched Brothers and Sisters.. it's a series about a the Walker family, Nora and William Walker and their 5 children with their own drama. But, the thing is, no matter what problem or drama going on the family will get involve.. they're just care to each others, they know each others.. they're just like my famz.. I found out that my famz is like their reflection, without all the drama off course.

But you know, things I learned from this series is that family is something that will keep u, holding u, like really really stand up for u no matter what may happened.. They’ll stay, they’ll be there for u.. That’s a REAL FAMILY are..

in the end, i just want to be thankful for this amazingly unperfect annoying lousy famz..

Thank u mami.. thank u ko.. thank u kukulie, meme, russell, kelly, maggie, long, kwang, mama , papa, kukubing, katryn, kevin, kenny, albert, tata, tante rini, om yong, handoyo, halim, hardi, kumafong.. thank u ABO..

THANK U..

Stand Up Now.. Not Later

And someday if they tell you about it
If the darkness knocks on your door
Remember her, remember me
We will be running as we have before
Running for answers, running for more

I run for hope, I run to feel
I run for the truth, for all that is real
I run for your mother, your sister, your wife
I run for you and me my friend

-I run for life by Melissa Etheridge –

I’ve just watched standup2cancer show, and I cried. It’s just get me, specially when the songs imagine was played and the actors became the narrator for those survivors. The message is just simple such as “I’m 2 years old and I’m a hero. I’ve done 2 surgeries and 8 cemo….” No freaky pictures added, there’re just they’re smiling faces.
And I couldn’t help myself but wonder, what can I do to change it.. to help it?? I feel ashamed of myself that can do nothing but writing this entry. I feel like I need to do something to make a different. Not just to all the cancer battlers but also to those who needs help.

So, anyone who read this entry.. Please keep this in mind.. You don’t need give a huge amount of donations. A single dime could help millions..
We don’t need to be big to start it. It can start by little actions..

Trust me, giving is much more fun than shopping.. well, I’m not saying I’ll stop shopping.. No, I’ll reduce it, and I’ll give more.
Because what we’ll do today, it’ll count, for a better tomorrow. Believe me on this!
I am not a religious person, but I believe that it’s what you do that counts!!

And you can do it now.. not later.. not next time..

Why We Need A Lot Of Shoes?

Past.. it’s not just a past.. whether we deal with it, learn from it and get over it. Unless you want to waste your time mourning, regretting, and on and on..
But the trauma behind every single mistakes that we face on the past it’ll still there. Because no matter what we do we can’t escape from it. Maybe, I’ll say I didn’t care.. It’s just a shield to cover up the scars.

We afraid of height because we’ve fell
We afraid of the dark because we’ve heard those creepy stories
We afraid of having best friends because we’ve been betrayed or we’ve heard stories about betrayal
We afraid of love because we’ve been hurt, we’ve heard the stories of the whole cheating things.. the whole divorces things..

Then how can we recover?
Because someday.. The time for us to fall in love will come.. Unconsciously we’ll fall for someone.. No matter how big and strong our shield it’ll break down when we fell in love.
So is this mean that we’re gambling?

Well, in my opinion.. I don’t think so..
Because I think, we can control it by learn from the past
We make preparation so that we won’t make the same mistake twice
Or do we won’t make mistake just like they did
I know it seems that it’s so easy to say
But to denying our feelings just because we‘re afraid of what may come in the future is such a coward action. Because life is just different to each of us.
We have a different shoes, and with that shoes you’re the one who decide where you want to go. I’m not saying that we can be 100% safe, but it’s better to have preparation so that it won’t damage that much.
Just like preparing a boot for winter, a flip-flop for summer, a high-heels for party, etc..

So.. you.. we.. I better have a good sense of “style” in choosing our shoes..

Losing My ReliGion?!

AAAAAAAAAAAAA...

I just want to scream.
I am lost, like really really lost rite now!!
I don't know what am I doing rite now!!
Aren't I supposed to get my ass work on my Proposal, instead of writing new post on my blog?! Gosh.. this is annoying, I can't concentrate at all
I'm losing control over my mind, my body, my heart, my feeling.. I AM LOST!!

I know it's not the time to complaining, or mumbling..
PEOPLE, IT'S TIME TO WORK!! why can't I just focus on my responsibility?? I think I am losing my religion.
I am losing my dream, I'm losing my hope..
Some said, "Don't get your hope up"
The other said, "Get your hope up!"
So, Which one?

The lectures said that we'll just gambling our fate..depending on their moods of that day. Damn, just typing this up really really make me feel like killing someone right now!! I think, Just because they have power to control our graduation doesn't mean that they can control our life right?!
I don't want to kiss their ass!! I'm not some scum bag who'll do anything beyond her principal just for what.. a piece of paper? a photograph of me wearing Toga? HELL NO!! I am a woman with my own principal..

I'm the one who'll determine my future, my fate!!
Screw you all.. You can stay here screwing students after students
But I'm moving!! I'm moving on.. Hell yeah..

YEAH!!
I'll prove you that I am beyond what you think am capable of!!
FIGHTING!!! OShhh....

FeLicia...

What Felicia Means..

You are loving, compassionate, and ruled by your feelings.
You are able to be a foundation for other people... but you still know how to have fun.
Sometimes your emotions weigh you down, but you generally feel free from them.

You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone.
You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together.
At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together.

You are relaxed, chill, and very likely to go with the flow.
You are light hearted and accepting. You don't get worked up easily.
Well adjusted and incredibly happy, many people wonder what your secret to life is.

You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing.
You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long.
You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start.

You are very open. You communicate well, and you connect with other people easily.
You are a naturally creative person. Ideas just flow from your mind.
A true chameleon, you are many things at different points in your life. You are very adaptable.

You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.
You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.
You have the classic "Type A" personality.

Reasons, Purpose, and Dream

Everyone was running desperately
Aiming for something
They were stretching their hands toward something
Which was invisible to the eye
Even if there is no goal there
Even if they had realized that their hand couldn’t reach it
They were still moving forwards it with all they had
But, I wonder
What I was doing
I was just staring
And I did not even try to stretch my hand out
I was scared of the result, and couldn’t take a single step forward
I was jealously watching the paths that everyone found with effort
By saying that I was different from everyone else, I was making an excuse for myself

I was just afraid of being hurt

If there is no map
You won’t know where to go
I thought you choose where to go after you seen the map
But, that was wrong
I am not lost because I don’t have a map
I.. don’t have a purpose

I wanted to move even faster
I wanted to go even further
Concentrating on that, I continued to pedal

-taken from Honey and Clover dorama-

We need reasons to do something, but what happened if we don't even have a single reasons?
I know it's easy to say, but it's hard to do..

why am I sitting here right now? What's my purpose?
I've always told anyone that my purpose to keep on moving these days was because I have this dream..a dream to open up my own cafe. But..
people say that I need to be mature and start thinking about work, love life, etc

My question is..Is that wrong to having a dream? Having a dream is childish? A dream is just meant to be just a dream? Am I dreaming to high??

So if it's not for reaching our dreams, then why are we living?

The Reality VS The Fantasy

If I didn't care more than words can say
If I didn't care would I feel this way?
If this isn't love then why do I thrill?
And what makes my head go 'round and 'round
while my heart stands still?

If I didn't care would it be the same?
Would my every prayer begin and end with just your name?
And would I be sure that this is love beyond compare?
Would all this be true if I didn't care for you?

- Miss Pettigrew Lives For a Day -

We’re all a denier. We’re all pretender. We’re all liar.
Why do we have to do these?
The answer is simple: we’re all afraid
We deny our feeling because we’re afraid to be lost in love.
We pretend to be somebody else because we’re afraid to be left alone
We lie about the truth because we’re afraid that the truth will tear us down.
Again.. It’s still confusing me. Do we have to choose between the reality and fantasy?

In reality people say you have to consider not only about Love, because there’s no such a thing called happily ever after. You need to see the financial..

In Fantasy, we’re all believe in Love at first sight, Happily ever after, ‘till death do us part, for better for worse and Love conquer all..

Does the fantasy are meant to be just a fantasy?!
So there’s no such thing called FOREVER?!
SO we have to just ignoring our feeling and stick with the economical problem?
So, we’re all just a whore.. The thing we care about is just money..
So, money is the most important thing in the world?

But why do I feel terrible with those things?

So it is just the same as having a dream is only meant to just a dream. So that I’ll just have to go with life according to their plan?!

Does having a dream called childish?
Does believing in LOVE and life Happily Ever After is childish?
Am I childish??? Am I just a foolish, naïve, corny girl?!

'Till Death Do Us Part

Death.. it comes.. it’ll come to all of us. The only questions we can’t explain about death is “when”. I can’t answer it, your mom can’t answer it, the doctor can’t answer it, even the priest can’t answer it. The only one that can control death is GOD. He can take us anytime he wanted to.

Ourlife is just for a rent. We pay them by living our life and make it into a precious life, and if GOD suddenly want to take the life that he rented for us it’s up to HIM. We can’t run from it. And the thing is..we can’t even predict it.

So when?? 50 years.. 40..30..20..10..8..5..1 or maybe months..weeks.. days..tommorow?! now???!

We don’t know, we ‘ll never know!!

So we better pay our rent quickly by living our life in the best way we could.. We don’t want GOD turning into some cruel Debt Collector right!?

So.. Strating from now..
Let’s do anything we want to do, saying anything we want to say, just anything..
Because when the time stop..
When our turn comes..
We won’t leave this world empty handedly
We bring memories..moments..
Laughter.. Joy..Tears..
But we’re not just leave like that, we stay..
Yes, some part of us will stay.. in our beloved friends and families hearts..

So, 'till death do us part, let's make memories to remember..

To FeeL The Pleasure Behind The Pain

"The Fantasy is simple. Pleasure is good, and twice as much pleasure is better. That pain is bad, and no pain is better. But the reality is different. The reality is that pain is there to tell us something, and there's only so much pleasure we can take without getting a stomach ache. And maybe that's okay. Maybe some fantasies are only supposed to live in our dreams." - Meredith Grey, Grey's Anatomy..

"Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all"
- Three days Grace, Pain -

I've always wonder.. why it's even exist in this world.. the anger, the tears, the screaming, the stress, the fall down, the blood, the hurt, the pain... yes, THE PAIN..

what I'm talking about it's not just feeling.. but also physically
is it our curse made by Adam and Eve mistakes?!
But, I started to think that maybe it was a blessing from GOD to remind us all that we're not some kind of robot that feel nothing. We're a human being that can feel the pain and hurt by a broken heart, or the anger of the failure.. YES, that makes us different, we actually FEEL something.
We had a bad day.. then we got a bad hair day.. we fell down sometimes.. we cut our finger sometimes.. it's there to teach us to learn something..learning from our mistakes. That makes us special, we teach ourself with pain.

Thanks GOD for the pain!!
That surely make me an extraordinary human being!!
Always has.. always will..

Romantic or FooLish ??!!

just yesterday.. I watched MTV on my cousin's house, and it's the MTV's Spanking New. A very unique song by The Script, tittled THE MAN WHO CAN'T BE MOVED.. you'll know why I thing this song is unique..

Going back to the corner where I first saw you,
Gonna camp in my sleeping bag not I'm not gonna move,
Got some words on cardboard got your picture in my hand,
Saying if you see this girl can you tell her where I am,
Some try to hand me money they don't understand,
I'm not... broke I'm just a broken hearted man,
I know it makes no sense, but what else can I do,
How can I move on when I've been in love with you...

Cos if one day you wake up and find that your missing me,
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I can be,
Thinking maybe you'd come back here to the place that we'd meet,
And you'd see me waiting for you on the corner of the street.

So I'm not moving...
I'm not moving.

Policeman says son you can't sit her,
I said there's someone I'm waiting for if it's a day, a month, a year,
Gotta stand my ground even if it rains or snows,
If she changes her mind this is the first place she will go.

Cos if one day you wake up and find that your missing me,
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I can be,
Thinking maybe you'd come back here to the place that we'd meet,
And you'd see me waiting for you on the corner of the street.

So I'm not moving...
I'm not moving.

I'm not moving...
I'm not moving.

People talk about the guy
Whos waiting on a girl...
Oohoohwoo
There on no hole in his shoes
But a big hole in his world...
Hmmmm

Maybe I'll get famous as man who can't be moved,
And maybe you won't mean to but you'll see me on the news,
And you'll come running to the corner...
Cos you'll know it's just for you

I'm the man who can't be moved
I'm the man who can't be moved...

Cos if one day you wake up and find that your missing me,
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I can be,
Thinking maybe you'd come back here to the place that we'd meet,
And you'd see me waiting for you on the corner of the street.
[Repeat in background]

So I'm not moving...
I'm not moving.

I'm not moving...
I'm not moving.

Going back to the corner where I first saw you,
Gonna camp in my sleeping bag not I'm not gonna move.

I know what you were thinking.. it's a silly lyrics..
a very foolish man, blindly in love, crazily in love.. just like a FOOL

But.. what got me thinking is that..
We need to stop mocking about the other, because sometimes..
sometimes, It'll make you lick your very own saliva

because the thing about life is that we can't predict it
we can have a goal, but there's things that we cannot controlled
and that's LOVE
wow.. what's going on with me, I've been talking about LOVE on and on lately
am I in LOVE?! with who??? silly...
am I wanting to be loved??! Am I feeling lonely??! (hell no!!)
am I curious about all the crazy adventures LOVE could take me??! (I think this is the answer..)

I am curious.. everybody is.. that makes us human..

Addicted to Sex and the City - part deux

Good afternoon... I've just got home from my lunch time with my mom at SUI/IKI.. my famz fav restaurant.. we'll go there atleast once a week. I get bored of it sometimes but it a great Japanese restaurant with great foods such as Yaki udon, Ramen, Chicken teriyaki, Salmon yaki, tempura, cawanmushi.. and many many more...

Okay, enough about my lunch I want to continue what I've started.. hehe..
Here's some other quothes from Sex and The City.. from non other than Carrie Bradshaw...

No matter who broke your heart, or how long it takes to heal, You'll never get through it.... without your friends

Life doesn’t always turn out to be your fantasy, that’s why you need friendships that are real to get you through it all

Eventually all the pieces fall into place....until then, laugh at the confusion, live for the moment, and know that everything happens for a reason

When real people fall down in life, they get right back up and keep walking.

Life gives you lots of chances to screw up which means you have just as many chances to get it right

I'm looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can't-live-without-each-other love

Sometimes second chances work out even better than the first because you learn from your mistakes.

The most important thing in life is your family. There are days you love them, and others you don't. But, in the end, they're the people you always come home to. Sometimes it's the family you're born into and sometimes it's the one you make for yourself.

You shouldn't have to sacrifice who you are just because somebody else has a problem with it.

I admit it's tempting to wish for the perfect boss, the perfect parent, or the perfect outfit. But maybe the best any of us can do is not quit, play the hand we've been dealt, and accessorize what we've got

WOooo...
Come on, I know what you're thinking after you read all those quotes..
I know you want to watch it too.. HahAa..
Then don't hesitate yourself to do it.. it really is a great series.. trust me!!
There're still many touching quotes but I know I'll need at least another 10 posts to finished it..

from Sex and the City Movie trailer :
"fashions may come and go, but true friendships never go out of style"

A Good Day to Learn Somethings

Before I continuing my "addicted to sex and the city" topics.. I just want to write about my day, today.
Today is Wednesday, it's my cousin, Russell 5th b'day.. so I and my mom and my aunts and her family and her nannies and her driver went to a orphanages and "Panti Jompo" sorry I don't know the English word for that, a place for elder without family and with mental or physics illness.. it's so heartbreaking seeing those innocent kid even babies abandoned by their parents.. There's this cute kid but unfortunately he only has one eye ball so his parents left him on the hospital..
And not just that, there's a teenage girl that's become crazy because he's been raped many times and her mother didn't do anything about it..

Thanks GOD for givin' me a place that I could call HOME

It makes me realize how lucky I am and I'm so grateful on who I am and where I come from.. I have these amazingly great family, there's good and bad times but my family they're always together, they never leave a man behind.

Back at home I finished up the 4th season of Grey's anatomy and there's these scenes about a boy, Jeremy and a girl, Beth both cute and both with brain tumor.. they both met in a some kind of brain tumor group.. it was when Jeremy is about to get his surgery.. and Beth just get very scare and nervous about the jeremy's surgery.. Then...

B : What if you die?
J : (holding her hands tightly!) I won't
B : What if I die?
J : you won't
B : Okay, but.. you change my life, Jeremy West. You made it better, You made it brighter, full of joy, and if I die....
J : Don't you dare to die.. we're not finished yet.. I'm not finished loving you

yeah, it was very touching, I cry like a baby, they're very much in love.. the sad part is the boy didn't made it. but the great thing is the girl, Beth, she didn't give up.. she said that Jeremy would be mad at her if she just gave up..
And here comes the bright side.. she's alive!!

Okay, now let's get back to the day before
at home I watched Grey's Anatomy, and again it made me cry.. with the scenes where there's a brain tumor patients that cause him to talk harrasly or laugh like a crazy man and he just got married to his rebound girl.. and he keep telling her to go get laid with other guy and ofcourse it hurt her very very much.. but the thing is he love her very much so that the reason he did it it's because he didn't want her wife to be all alone when he's gone!!

Then there's this episode about a gay soldier..
You know.. they're soldier they're supposed to be all manly not gay.. so the guy die without even telling his true feeling for his partner
I learn that all I need to do is just put on my mp3 player and stop thinking about others opinion.. just say what I want to say.. don't regret it.. because I know, we know.. we can't turn back..

yeah I learn a lot about family.. friendship and.. LOVE..

am I gonna get that kind of love?! Am I gonna be all drama free?!
Am I gonna get a pure, sweet, crazy about each other, always be there for better and worse, nervous when he's around, feeling happy and thankful everyday..but still keep being myself kind of LOVE?!
I'm a believer.. I'm an optimist.. and I'm a fighter..
Yes.. I believe that happily ever after is out there for me..

Goodluck to everyone then...

Addicted to Sex and the City - part une

As I finished my “Sex and the City Marathon” time.. I could not wait to speak up my mind.. gosh I really really need to discuss this series with others.. so much topics, so much quotes, so much scenes.. So I’ll better get it started.. take it slow but sure and deep..
Let’s start some quotes from Carrie Bradshaw, the main character of this amazing series(for the record, these’re just some of them, there’re plenty of them..seriously!!)...

1. Carrie: Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous.
2. Carrie: Maybe some women aren't meant to be tamed. Maybe they need to run free until they find someone just as wild to run with them.
3. Carrie : When you're young, your whole life is about the pursuit of fun. Then, you grow up and learn to be cautious. You could break a bone or a heart. You look before you leap and sometimes you don't leap at all because there's not always someone there to catch you. And in life, there's no safety net. When did it stop being fun and start being scary?
4. Carrie : Maybe mistakes are what make our fate... without them what would shape our lives? Maybe if we had never veered off course we wouldn't fall in love, have babies, or be who we are. After all, things change, so do cities, people come into your life and they go. But it's comforting to know that the ones you love are always in your heart... and if you're very lucky, a plane ride away”


- to be continued

Dearest Susan.......With Love, vipe

I dedicated this Aerosmith's songs to my friend Susan, who's been hurt and down but able to pull herself up and live up her life better than it's ever been..

Dream On by Aerosmith
Everytime that I look in the mirror
All these lines on my face gettin clearer
The past is gone
It went by like dust to dawn
Isnt that the way
Everybodys got their dues in life to pay

I know what nobody knows
Where it comes and where it goes
I know its everybodys sin
You got to lose to know how to win

Half my life is in books written pages
Live and learn from fools and from sages
You know its true
All the things come back to you

Sing with me, sing for the years
Sing for the laughter, sing for the tears
Sing with me, if its just for today
Maybe tomorrow the good lord will take you away
(x2)

Dream on, dream on
Dream yourself a dream come true
Dream on, dream on
Dream until your dream come true
Dream on, dream on, dream on...

we're a woman
but we're not just a woman
we're more than just a woman
we need no man to be not just a woman
all we need is ourself and it's own spirit
and a 'lil prayer.. and a huge dream to believe in..

FIGHTING!! osh..

God Explained In a Taxi Ride by Paul Arden

I’ve just read Paul Arden’s 3rd book titled “God Explain in a Taxi Ride”. And I think this book is just like his first and second book, it’s so inspirational for me personally. In this book he explain about GOD, religion and many thing about GOD that makes me feel strong.. U know that I am an agnostic, I believe in GOD but I’m not involve in any religion.. So he said to believe in GOD won’t make me a religious person, but it’ll make me a spiritual person (see the different)..
“A young child asked his father if he could prove there is a God.
‘I can’t prove it,’ he said.
‘It’s like the wind. You can feel it, but you can’t see it.’”

It is very stupid I think to think that we’re all used to be monkey, or those beautiful scenery was happened because of an accidents.. it’s so stupid (no judgment)..
Not just that, he also wrote something that all of my religious friends keep bugging me about... it’s the after life.. :
“People scare of the dark because they don’t know what’s there.
As soon as they put the light on, they can see and feel safe.
We are all scared of dying, because we are afraid of the unknown.
To ease our fear of the dark, we invent explanations for the afterlife such as heaven and hell and reincarnation.
Like the light we switch on to feel safe.”

Then in the next page he wrote:
“The sun was made by God.
Religion is a light bulb, created by man to help him to see in the dark.”

There’re still many interesting things he wrote such as this one..
“Wars are started by ambitious men and women whose sense of humor plays no part in the serious business of running a country.
What if, instead of sending professional statesmen, with their self-importance and deadly seriousness, to an international war summit, we were to send some of our top humorists? Sacha Baron Cohen and Larry David, for instance.
Can you imagine this gathering of diplomats contriving to start a war?
They wouldn’t be able to, no matter how hard they tried. Their sense of humor forbids it.
When people declare war on others, they believe themselves to be just.
They believe that God is on their side.
God knows, they are insane.”

Hahah.. Interesting rite?! I used to be a huge fan of Paul Arden but now I love him even more..

The Power of Love

I’ve got inspired by a Korean series titled “Someday”.. it is a very inspiring series. The story, the filming technique is definitely different than other Korean series.. when I show it to my friends who’s majoring in Visual Communication Design, she said this series is really good.. The color and the filming technique is like a Japanese series.. it have the thing called “Quality”.. The story itself is really different.. it’s about a girl name Hana, an artist, that’s been hurt in the past, so she can’t show her emotion, and she only think of love as a human hormone, a very very cold blooded girl.. then there’s Lee Soek Man, a boy that lost his family at an accident, then he work really hard to pay the medicine for a young boy that stay in coma because of that accident too, he’s a very warm and cheerful person, a super nice guy that love to help others..
It’s about how Hana change, from a cold person into someone that believe in love, an willing to sacrifice for love, waiting for love.. And there’s struggling in Soek Man’s life too, where he felt guilty for the accident that cost his family lives and only focus on money became LIFE again because of Love.. is love has that much of strength??
I don’t really understand what love is, I don’t I’ll sacrifice as much as Hana did in real life, I won’t be able if I have to wait.. if someone left me, I’ll definitely gonna move on as fast as I could!!
For me loving someone is hurt.. I don’t know why.. I just think that we must not giving our 100% for love.. What if we got cheated on?!
The thing is I’ve seen so much broken hearts.. but I’ve also seen a true happy ending..
Is happy ending only existing in movies?! Is it fake?!
Then what is love?! How can someone become so crazy about love?! Aren’t they even thinking before they do all the crazy things?!

Maybe I’m scared of love?! Am I??!
Maybe I’m just thinking too much of love on their negative sides..
Maybe I need to start believing in love
Maybe I need to be more faithful
Maybe I’m still naïve about love..

Maybe I need to surprise by love when the time come..
I believe there'll be tears of joy and tears of anger or tears of fun..
who knows?!

It's not a Dead End , just a Little Rocky RoaD

I haven't write anything since a pretty long time.. I've got some bad news for me.. I failed my kolokiums... it's been such a big disappointment for me.. but I'm alright now.. maybe I just need to work harder than i tough, u know life is not that easy..
Just like a school without exams that'll be really boring.. so I think this is my "exam".. that i need to be more focus on what I'll do..
people said there's alot of roads to Rome.. so I guess my path to my "Rome" just a little rocky, maybe I'll run out a gasoline in the middle, but I'm sure I'll find a great gas station nearby.. just be patient and not stop trying..
So I write this to anybody who thinks that it was the end of everything.. hey.. it's not.. it's just a rocky road..
Good Luck then..^^

The Time of My Life

I've just recieved Susan's comment..
So I decided to write somethin' here.. about my day, today. I'm very very happy rite now, my MAN..my GUY.. my AMerican idoL.. DAVID COOK.. he won!! yay..
These weeks have been a very busy weeks for me, I got to finished my final report for the 2nd internship, then I need to make some revision for my KOlokium's.. and I got 3 days and 2 nights weekends break to attend. SO tired but I'm alright with it, since I know that it was the consequences.. there's no easy road for a place worth livin'

Okay.. I've just called Susan, we talked about AI result show and Amore..
My tension get high whenever I talk about Amore.. a lot of things I want them to fix, but yes I kind of remembering a novel titled "Blindness", where they can "see" but they cannot "see".. just like Amore conditions, where there's so much mistakes, that's visible in front of them, but it feels like it's invisible, so they cannot see it.. or they can see, but they acted like they don't see it.

Okay, enough about Amore, let's talk about CooK.. yay.. it's CooKin' time!!
so happy that finally my choice win the competition, after some mourning for Chris Daughtry for AI 5 and Chris Richardson for AI 6..
Simon said david is one of the nicest sincere AI participants..
yay.. yay.. cannot stop cheering!!
He sang The Time of My Life on the end of the show, he looks very brave, I feel his charisma, his presence, his spirit of joy.. it's very touching..

If tonight is David time.. so when's mine??
when's the time of my life?
For me every seconds of my life is the time of my life.. I can make it the TIME, as long as I feel it was the TIME. So what's the point?
the point is not the moment but our feelings.
We can make a bad day be the TIME of our life.
Just have faith on ourself, we can our world a better place to be.. coz in the world I know, anything is possible.

Time of My life - writer : Reggie Ham

I’ve been waiting for my dreams
To turn into something
I could believe in
And looking for that
Magic rainbow
On the horizon
I couldn’t see it
Until I let go
Gave into love and watched all the bitterness burn
Now I’m coming alive
Body and soul
And feelin’ my world start to turn

*And I’ll taste every moment
And live it out loud
I know this is the time,
This is the time
To be more than a name
Or a face in the crowd
I know this is the time
This is the time of my life
Time of my life

Holding onto things that vanished
Into the air
Left me in pieces
But now I’m rising from the ashes
Finding my wings
[ Find more Lyrics at www.mp3lyrics.org/ewYA ]
And all that I needed
Was there all along
Within my reach
As close as the beat of my heart

* reff

And I’m out on the edge of forever
Ready to run
I’m keeping my feet on the ground
My arms open wide
My face to the sun

The Bond The Clover and The Musketeer

It’s decided..
I’m going to study culinary, after I graduate in this whole communication major..
And I’m going to choose Baking and Pastry as my specialty. Thanks to my honey, caca, for supporting me..
Well, I still a ‘lil bit confused about where would I go. Should I go to Singapore, US.. And I need to consider about my famz financial condition bcoz I’m not from those rich and wealthy famz.. Haha.. but I do believe anything is possible if we put our mind on it. If we really want it, there’s got to be a way.
Opening a business with my friends will be really exiting. We’ve been best friends for more than 5 years, and we know all of our negative and positive side.. so I do believe that our team work will be great. Money or any selfish act won’t tear our friendship that easily. I believe that we’re much stronger than that.
Maybe we’ll have a different mind, we’ll argue, but we’ll make it trough.
I know we will…

Money, Greediness, Selfishness, Lust of fame, Anger..
Any of those seven deathly sins
It’s there.. There’re exist..
But I believe our bonding as The Musketeer Street to pursue our dreams together is much stronger than that. Just like The Four Leaf Clover, symbolize eternity.. And it’ll bring luck to all of us.. Fame, Wealth, Health, and Fateful Love.
We’ll carry on..
Because we’re not just friends anymore, we’re family.

If you ask me, witch one is more important for me between friends anf famz.. then I'll said "they're equal". My friends are my Family.. and My family are My friends..

The Bond..
The Clover..
The Musketeer..

It's my street, our street.. where there'll be no traffic jam.. It's got a lil rocky road, but it has a priceless scenery where we'll see smiles, laughter, tears, anger, anything
That I'll treasure forever..

Proud to be an "O"

Di Jepang, ramalan ttg seseorang lebih ditentukan oleh golongan darah
daripada zodiak atau shio. Kenapa? Katanya, golongan darah itu
ditentukan oleh protein-protein tertentu yang membangun semua sel di tubuh
kita dan oleh karenanya juga menentukan psikologi kita. Benar apa tidak?

SIFAT SECARA UMUM :
A : terorganisir, konsisten, jiwa kerja-sama tinggi, tapi selalu cemas
(krn perfeksionis) yg kadang bikin org mudah sebel, kecenderungan
politik: "destra"
B : nyantai, easy going, bebas, dan paling menikmati hidup,
kecenderungan politik: "sinistra"
O : berjiwa besar, supel, gak mau ngalah, alergi pada yg detil,
kecenderungan politik: "centro"
AB: unik, nyleneh, banyak akal, berkepribadian ganda, kecenderungan
politik

BERDASARKAN URUTAN :
Yg paling gampang ngaret soal waktu :
1 B (krn nyantai terus)
2 O (krn flamboyan)
3 AB (krn gampang ganti program)
4 A (krn gagal dalam disiplin)

Yg paling susah mentolerir kesalahan org :
1 A (krn perfeksionis dan narsismenya terlalu besar)
2 B (krn easy going tapi juga easy judging)
3 AB (krn asal beda)
4 O (easy judging tapi juga easy pardoning)

Yg paling bisa dipercaya :
1 A (krn konsisten dan taat hukum)
2 O (demi menjaga balance)
3 B (demi menjaga kenikmatan hidup)
4 AB (mudah ganti frame of reference)

Menurut survey, gol darah yg paling disukai utk jadi teman :
1 O (orangnya sportif)
2 A (selalu on time dan persis)
3 AB (kreatif)
4 B (tergantung mood)

Kebalikannya, teman yg paling disebelin/tidak disukai:
1 B (egois, easy come easy go, maunya sendiri)
2 AB (double standard)
3 A (terlalu taat dan scrupulous)
4 O (sulit mengalah)

MENYANGKUT OTAK DAN KEMAMPUAN :

Yg paling mudah kesasar/tersesat
1 B
2 A
3 O
4 AB

Yg paling banyak meraih medali di olimpiade olah raga:
1 O (jago olah raga)
2 A (persis dan matematis)
3 B (tak terpengaruh pressure dari sekitar. Hampir seluruh atlet judo,
renang dan gulat jepang bergoldar B)

4 AB (alergi pada setiap jenis olah raga)

Yg paling banyak jadi direktur dan pemimpin :
1 O (krn berjiwa leadership dan problem-solver)
2 A (krn berpribadi "minute" dan teliti)
3 B (krn sensitif dan mudah ambil keputusan)
4 AB (krn kreatif dan suka ambil resiko)

Yg jadi PM jepang rata2 bergoldar :
1 O (berjiwa pemimpin)

Mahasiswa Tokyo Univ pada umumnya bergol darah : B

Yg paling gampang nabung :
1 A (suka menghitung bunga bank)
2 O (suka melihat prospek)
3 AB (menabung krn punya proyek)
4 B (baru menabung kalau punya uang banyak)

Yg paling kuat ingatannya :
1 O
2 AB
3 A
4 B

Yg paling cocok jadi MC :
1 A (kaya planner berjalan)

MENYANGKUT KESEHATAN :

Yg paling panjang umur :
1 O (gak gampang stress, antibody nya paling joss!)
2 A (hidup teratur)
3 B (mudah cari kompensasi stress)
4 AB (amburadul)

Yg paling gampang gendut
1 O (nafsu makan besar, makannya cepet lagi)
2 B (makannya lama, nambah terus, dan lagi suka makanan enak)
3 A (hanya makan apa yg ada di piring, terpengaruh program diet)
4 AB (Makan tergantung mood, mudah kena anoressia)

Paling gampang digigit nyamuk :
O (darahnya manis)

Yg paling gampang flu/demam/batuk/pilek
1 A (lemah terhadap virus dan pernyakit menular)
2 AB (lemah thd hygiene)
3 O (makan apa saja enak atau nggak enak)
4 B (makan, tidur nggak teratur)

Apa yg dibuat pada acara makan2 di sebuah pesta :
O (banyak ngambil protein hewani, pokoknya daging2an)
A (ngambil yg berimbang. 4 sehat 5 sempurna)
B (suka ambil makanan yg banyak kandungan airnya spt soup, soto, bakso
dsb)
AB (hobby mencicipi semua masakan, "aji mumpung")

Yg paling cepat botak :
1 O
2 B
3 A
4 AB

Yg tidurnya paling nyenyak dan susah dibangunin :
1 B (tetap mendengkur meski ada Tsunami)
2 AB (jika lagi mood, sleeping is everything)
3 A (tidur harus 8 jam sehari, sesuai hukum)
4 O (baru tidur kalau benar2 capek dan membutuhkan)

Yg paling cepet tertidur
1 B (paling mudah ngantuk, bahkan sambil berdiripun bisa tertidur)
2 O (Kalau lagi capek dan gak ada kerjaan mudah kena ngantuk)
3 AB (tergantung kehendak)
4 A (tergantung aturan dan orario)

Penyakit yg mudah menyerang :
A (stress, majenun/linglung)
B (lemah terhadap virus influenza, paru-paru)
O (gangguan pencernaan dan mudah kena sakit perut)
AB (kanker dan serangan jantung, mudah kaget)

Apa yg perlu dianjurkan agar tetap sehat :
A (Krn terlalu perfeksionis maka nyantailah sekali-kali, gak usah
terlalu tegang dan serius)
B (Krn terlalu susah berkonsentrasi, sekali-kali perlu serius sedikit,
meditasi, main catur)
O (Krn daya konsentrasi tinggi, maka perlu juga mengobrol santai,
jalan-jalan)
AB (Krn gampang capek, maka perlu cari kegiatan yg menyenangkan dan
bikin lega).

Yg paling sering kecelakaan lalu lintas (berdasarkan data kepolisian)
1 A
2 B
3 O
4 AB

I got it from here :
http://www.mail-archive.com/bursa-otomotif@yahoogroups.com/msg00007.html

Haha, I'm proud to be an "O"

This Is My Freaking Shoe!!!

okay.. I think enough is enough..
just stop it!!
stop telling me what to do
stop telling me what I should be
stop telling me anything about me...
just SHUT UP!!!

here's the thing, I know what I like and I certainly know what I want. And I know who I am.. I am a rebel, a true rebellion, I'm dedicated myself to be it. So, when u tell me what to do or what I shouldn't do I'll just turn it upside down..u know what I mean?

I'm a straight forward person, So I'll tell you what I like and what I want..so, if I were u, I'll back off!! the more u pushing me, the more I'm pulling away..
The more u giving me this "whole" crap, the more I hate it!!
But, thank u.. it makes me realize that I really am hate "those" world..

I don't want anyone but be to determine the shape of my life
I don't want anyone but me making the decision about my life
Live in your own life, stop living in mine..
stop making me to be like you
I am who I am.. I'll walk on my own shoe and you won't fit on it!!

Thank u for listen, or read...

Let The Sixth Sense Talk

Tarot.. Fortune telling.. ohh..I love those things…
Yesterday in aMOre, once again I met Ms. Rosa, a smart and wonderful PR which really really friendly and nice to me. She brought her friends, Singgih. And it turns out that she and her friends having those sixth sense things.. So I got them to read me..

From the first card, which I forgot the name of the cards..I’ve been told that I have some dark past, but I’ve got over with it..it said I got “something” that I really really want in the future, it said that right now, I have this worry inside of me (which I said yes, because honestly I’m scare as hell about my path that I choose), but I am a very lucky person because I have a lot of great friends and family that support and love me..and it said that to reach my goals I have to “divine timing”, I need to focus on what to do first before I do another things.. So that I get what I wanted, because I got the “answered prayer” card.. yay!! And in love life I got this three cards : blessing, children, and friendship
Which mean that I’m not thinking about romance right now, but one day through my friends I’ll get my partner of life.. yay!!

From the second cards, tarot:
Again he said that I have this dark past, but it’s all over because based on the card right now, I’ve been moving forward and life my life with full of passions.. Then got “the fool” card, which explain I am a naive person that doesn’t want to hear what anyone in my surrounding said.. But I am a tough, a strong and a brave person.. and I got “age of wands” which explain that my dream can come true (the picture it’s a big tree that grow in the top of stones)..but I have to keep my guard up because if not, something or someone will hurt me or bring me down… then he said I got this great card which I forgot what the name is, that said I’ll be a successful person but… my partner of life will be bigger that me… yay!!

Haha… I love it.. for me.. all we have to do about fortune telling is just take what the positive and be aware fro n the negative ones… your life is much much bigger than your palms.. your life is worth more than a tarot card… our life is a wonderful blessing..so live it!!!

Special thanks to KoHan, without him I wont be able to met Ms. Rosa.. and his friend, Mr. Singgih…
And to my friends and fams.. thank u for making me a full of spirit and loving person…

POWER UP!!!

yeah it's been a while since my last post..
These few days I've been feeling down, out of focus, confused, bored, lazzy.. just really really tired.
But since yesterday, when my famz and frenz came to aMOre to visit me, I feel how uncountable love that I rechieved from them. what really touch me is that my moms who'll sleep like a baby at 21:00 came with my famz at 21:30..wow!! awesome!!
Then seeing them eating happily and satisfied with aMOre, the smiles on their faces..their spirit just fill up my body!!
Then back with my frenz that seems really really enjoying their lasagna, I feel glad that they love it..

Those whole things make me think how lucky I am to have this life, how beautiful my life is... and it makes me wanting to make my dream to open my own cafe to be not just a dream but a reality. Because I love to see those smiles, joy, and laughter..I want to see it, when I be the one who serve it to them..
Listening to others saying that my place, my food, my cafe can give them a joyfull experience with the people we love..

Then imagine,
what am I gonna be I don't have those kind of famz
How am I doing if I don't have those kind of frenz
What will I do, if I don't have dreams..if I don't have a purpose to life..
Something to fight for!!

Imagine by John lennon

imagine there's no heaven
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today...

Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace...

You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will be as one

Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world...

You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will live as one

The New Big Thing

Being somebody else inspiration!
Yes.. I think I’ve just found my another big dream.
This crazy tought just pop up all suddently while I was sitting at my car, looking at the road, day dreaming, remembering the past..Then remembering Susan’s testimonial about me, then this think came out.. so, thank u Suzie!!
You know, reading those “thank you” and bla..bla.. bla.. that Suzie wrote at her blog make me feel huge, it feels like I meant something, it makes me happy and just really really damn good!
So in my new big dream here I want to be someone that can encourage others, pursue them to believe in dream, pursue them to have faith in their self, pursue them to be dare and free. And I want to be someone that whenever anyone hear my story the’ll be inspired, they’ll realize about believing in dream and hope, they’ll realize how beautiful this life can be.

I don’t know what else to said, but this is my new big goal I guess.. Haha.. it’s okay to have some crazy huge silly dream, because when we know what we wanted that’ll keep us alive, we wont be like zombie, “living body but empty soul walking”.
As for me, I’ve got inspired by many people, many movies, many musics, many books.. suck as Paul Arden, Chris Garver… Sex and the City… The calling – Our Lives… etc…
Some clue from me, you’ll need not just something to inspire you, but also someplace to get inspired.. for me I found my self oftenly get inspired at my car while I was with no one, listening to my music.. and also in my bed while I’m trying to sleep… So find your own place.

From my work place last night :
I’ve talked about my big dream with Mr. Darwin. I told him that I want to open my own café one day, and I want it to look like, the building, the interior, the uniform, the environmental friendly concept, the kitchen, etc.. And it feels good you know, to have a dream, a purpose to life, something to fight for!!

The calling – Out Lives
Is it love tonight
When everyone's dreaming
Of a better life
In this world
Divided by fear
We've gotta believe that
There's a reason we're here
Yeah, there's a reason we're here

*)Cause these are the days worth living
These are the years we're given
And these are the moments
These are the times
Let's make the best out of our lives

See the truth all around
Our faith can be broken
And our hands can be bound
But open our hearts and fill up the emptiness
With nothing to stop us
Is it not worth the risk?
Yeah, is it not worth the risk?

back to *)
Even if hope was shattered
I know it wouldn't matter
Cause these are the moments
These are the times
Let's make the best out of our lives

We can't go wrong
Thinking it's wrong
To speak our minds
I've gotta let out what's inside

Is it love tonight
When everyone's dreaming
Can we get it right?
Yeah, well can we get it right?

Back to *)

Hope this song can inspire you too! Good luck..