Being Single And...

I'm single now..
is that status makes me a lonely girl?
I was wondering what about being single and happy.
But the thing is, even if we watched a lot of movies or series about a woman that's single, successful, and happy.. at the end of the day.. they'll find someone, that makes the story goes up to be a happy "not single" successful woman.

Do I really have to rush myself, finding a guy, just a guy so that I could fix myself in the word "taken". Well, the thing is I am happy with my condition right now. But for some people, and maybe me (sometimes) being single in the world of "pairs" just kinda "hurt" (sometimes). Especially in my culture, where woman at 20s should be "taken". If not they'll mark us as some kind of "not good enough" person.

Once again, is it wrong to be single at 20s???

I am not saying that I'm not open to relationship, but what I want is a real relationship where I can find someone that'll love me, someone that willing to protect me, makes me feel save, happy, comfortable and hopeful. I want someone that'll support me, that'll give me my freedom, respect and understanding. Not just some guy... I want a man..
And I'll get my hopes up on this one!! lol..

Another Try

"we like to think we're fearless, eager to explore unknown lands and suck up all new experiences. But the fact is, we're always terrified. Maybe the terrorists are part of the attraction. Some people go to horror movies, we cut things open. Dive in to dark water."

"And at the end of the day, isn't that would you rather to hear about?! If you got 1 drink and 1 friend and 45 minutes, smooth rides makes for boring story. A little calamity, that's worth talking about."

-Meredith grey-
Grey's Anatomy, season 5

Wow.. I did it myself, I listen and listen.. the I type it down.
I'm so in love with this quotes. know I've always said about getting out of my comfort zone, seeking for new experience, trying new things.. But, the truth is.. It's not that easy, sometimes I feel scare, what if my choice will turn into a disaster for me, what if.. what if..
I am scared, I am nervous and terrifies at the same time.
I've been down, rejected and disappointed so many times
But the thing is..
will I let my fears stop me?
will I let my regrets haunting me all time?
will I be brave enough to give it a try?

For me, everything worth the try.. every single thing that we do will give us something. it'll give us experiences, lesson.. so that we'll learn from it.
And time passed, it wont be repeated.. so instead of keep mourning over it, I guess.. give it another try won't cost me my life right?!
Failure is there.. whether it's big or small.. But, it's not the end of the world!

So What?!

AAAaaaaaRRrrGGhhhTTT...
I just want to scream.. I failed, again.. for the second time!!
it hurts, it's like really really hurt.. I feel so stupid and disappointed at myself!!

Well, atleast I feel that for a while.. just for a while
Haha.. so what if I fail?!
I won't stop trying.. I'm a fighter.. I know I can!!

Coldplay - Lost

Just because I'm losing
Doesn't mean I'm lost
Doesn't mean I'll stop
Doesn't mean I will cross

Just because I'm hurting
Doesn't mean I'm hurt
Doesn't mean I didn't get what I deserve
No better and no worse

I just got lost
Every river that I've tried to cross
And every door I ever tried was locked
Ooh-Oh, And I'm just waiting till the shine wears off...

You might be a big fish
In a little pond
Doesn't mean you've won
'Cause along may come
A bigger one
And you'll be lost

Every river that you tried to cross
Every gun you ever held went off
Ooh-Oh, And I'm just waiting till the firing starts
Ooh-Oh, And I'm just waiting till the shine wears off
Ooh-Oh, And I'm just waiting till the shine wears off
Ooh-Oh, And I'm just waiting till the shine wears off…

Blood Is Ticker Than Water

I've always said that it's doesn't matter where you're come from, doesn't matter what you've done in the past.. it's the future that you want to achieve that's matter. But the thing is we still can't forget or abandoning where are we came from. Who gave you life, who brought you to this world. I know world is not as pretty as heaven but it is real..
We've seen, heard, read about those people who've gained success but they kind of abandoning their past, they hide from it, they're lying to themselves, they're trying to cover it up, they feel ashamed about it. Well, for me.. if we came from a very painful past, then we can stand up strongly.. it is an achievement. It is an inspirational thing. Unless, you're getting it in a wrong way.
Maybe we can lie to the world, but we can't lie to ourselves. Blood is ticker than water. No matter where you are, what you've become you'll never get away from your past, especially our family. Because "it's" there.. the connection will last forever.