Being Single And...

I'm single now..
is that status makes me a lonely girl?
I was wondering what about being single and happy.
But the thing is, even if we watched a lot of movies or series about a woman that's single, successful, and happy.. at the end of the day.. they'll find someone, that makes the story goes up to be a happy "not single" successful woman.

Do I really have to rush myself, finding a guy, just a guy so that I could fix myself in the word "taken". Well, the thing is I am happy with my condition right now. But for some people, and maybe me (sometimes) being single in the world of "pairs" just kinda "hurt" (sometimes). Especially in my culture, where woman at 20s should be "taken". If not they'll mark us as some kind of "not good enough" person.

Once again, is it wrong to be single at 20s???

I am not saying that I'm not open to relationship, but what I want is a real relationship where I can find someone that'll love me, someone that willing to protect me, makes me feel save, happy, comfortable and hopeful. I want someone that'll support me, that'll give me my freedom, respect and understanding. Not just some guy... I want a man..
And I'll get my hopes up on this one!! lol..

Another Try

"we like to think we're fearless, eager to explore unknown lands and suck up all new experiences. But the fact is, we're always terrified. Maybe the terrorists are part of the attraction. Some people go to horror movies, we cut things open. Dive in to dark water."

"And at the end of the day, isn't that would you rather to hear about?! If you got 1 drink and 1 friend and 45 minutes, smooth rides makes for boring story. A little calamity, that's worth talking about."

-Meredith grey-
Grey's Anatomy, season 5

Wow.. I did it myself, I listen and listen.. the I type it down.
I'm so in love with this quotes. know I've always said about getting out of my comfort zone, seeking for new experience, trying new things.. But, the truth is.. It's not that easy, sometimes I feel scare, what if my choice will turn into a disaster for me, what if.. what if..
I am scared, I am nervous and terrifies at the same time.
I've been down, rejected and disappointed so many times
But the thing is..
will I let my fears stop me?
will I let my regrets haunting me all time?
will I be brave enough to give it a try?

For me, everything worth the try.. every single thing that we do will give us something. it'll give us experiences, lesson.. so that we'll learn from it.
And time passed, it wont be repeated.. so instead of keep mourning over it, I guess.. give it another try won't cost me my life right?!
Failure is there.. whether it's big or small.. But, it's not the end of the world!

So What?!

AAAaaaaaRRrrGGhhhTTT...
I just want to scream.. I failed, again.. for the second time!!
it hurts, it's like really really hurt.. I feel so stupid and disappointed at myself!!

Well, atleast I feel that for a while.. just for a while
Haha.. so what if I fail?!
I won't stop trying.. I'm a fighter.. I know I can!!

Coldplay - Lost

Just because I'm losing
Doesn't mean I'm lost
Doesn't mean I'll stop
Doesn't mean I will cross

Just because I'm hurting
Doesn't mean I'm hurt
Doesn't mean I didn't get what I deserve
No better and no worse

I just got lost
Every river that I've tried to cross
And every door I ever tried was locked
Ooh-Oh, And I'm just waiting till the shine wears off...

You might be a big fish
In a little pond
Doesn't mean you've won
'Cause along may come
A bigger one
And you'll be lost

Every river that you tried to cross
Every gun you ever held went off
Ooh-Oh, And I'm just waiting till the firing starts
Ooh-Oh, And I'm just waiting till the shine wears off
Ooh-Oh, And I'm just waiting till the shine wears off
Ooh-Oh, And I'm just waiting till the shine wears off…

Blood Is Ticker Than Water

I've always said that it's doesn't matter where you're come from, doesn't matter what you've done in the past.. it's the future that you want to achieve that's matter. But the thing is we still can't forget or abandoning where are we came from. Who gave you life, who brought you to this world. I know world is not as pretty as heaven but it is real..
We've seen, heard, read about those people who've gained success but they kind of abandoning their past, they hide from it, they're lying to themselves, they're trying to cover it up, they feel ashamed about it. Well, for me.. if we came from a very painful past, then we can stand up strongly.. it is an achievement. It is an inspirational thing. Unless, you're getting it in a wrong way.
Maybe we can lie to the world, but we can't lie to ourselves. Blood is ticker than water. No matter where you are, what you've become you'll never get away from your past, especially our family. Because "it's" there.. the connection will last forever.

Laskar Pelangi

Laskar Pelangi.. “Rainbow Club” or whatever it’ll be in English, I don’t know.. yeah, I’ve just watched it thi afternoon. To be honest, I think this is Indonesia’s best movie so far. It’s not commercial, unlike others movie that showed a lot of sponsor’s products. The actors are great, like really great. The filming overall looks expensive, serious and it have lots of beautiful Belitung’s island sceneries. And it shows how peaceful the life between Tiong Hua’s and the Belitung’s people even with the kid that has mental problem. Another thing that make this movie great is that the children who play the children of Laskar Pelangi itself come from Belitung’s island too. They have no experience in acting before, but they do it naturally.
The movie is very inspiring, because we can see the spirit of those kids, who’s willing to learn and the teachers who’s willing to teach them with low payment. This movie told us about dreams, will, and hearts. It said that they don’t need numbers to divide their brightness, it’s all come from the heart. And we must never stop dreaming, chasing our own rainbow. Doesn’t matter where we came from, it’s what we willing to do in order to achieve our dream.
Most importantly, this movie shows us the value we’ll get from school, from learning, from experiencing. And it’s not just in material way, but we can learn from the nature, let the trees, animals, winds tell us what they know… It’s all come from the heart.

We're All Can Be A Superman

“Strength doesn’t open big iron doors, but a small key

We all have the key inside us to open the door to a new future.”

That’s the quote I got form a movie that I’ve just watched, A Man Once a Superman. It’s about a woman reporter, which specialized in human interest, so she film about any kind of weird or interesting human actions. One day, someone stole her bag then when she tries to cross over, she nearly got hit, but someone help her. He is a middle age man, who keeps saying that he is a superman. He doesn’t have any superpower because a bald guy put a kryptonite inside his head. But he keep helping people, such as help carrying elderly stuff, carry a man who is injured, helping elders that cross the road, etc. And he love to do story telling to the kids.

But.. the truth is, he is just a normal man, his father died when he was a little, but before his father leave he left him a message. Telling the boy to be good and help others like superman, so that one day he’ll be able to fly. And that night the boy goes outside and accidentally got a bullet trough his head, but he’s survived. Several years later, he’s driving with his wife and daughter, but they got into an accident. But no one help him, when he’s trying to help his daughter that stuck on the car, until the car exploded. Since than he’s claiming that he is a superman.

Then the doctors try to help him, by giving him pills to shut down his emotion and nerve system so he wont be able to feel angry, so he’s just like a robot. Until.. There’s a gas explosion and there’s a man stuck under a car, and he is trying to help him with his superpower. The car is moved, but not by his own power but.. There’re people helping him too.. until he get into the burning building to save his little friend, but they stuck on the 3^rd floor. So, he hold that girl and jump..

What I got from this movie, is not just about helping others. It got messages about global warming, what’s gonna happened. Such as Jaws attack, then no home for the polar bear and many more. Just like the quote above. We can help, we can change the future, the future is in our own hands. Maybe we have something to regret on the past, and we can’t change the past. But remember, WE CAN CHANGE THE FUTURE. It doesn’t have to be a big movement, we can start on a small step.. And one more thing, never lose your imagination. Never stop dreaming, have faith on it. Because believing and have faith on it, it’s like we’ve done half way to our goals. And that'll makes us, a Superman.

Honoring Dae Jo Yeung

I’ve been crying a lot for the past 2 days.. why? Because I’ve been watching Dae Jo Yong, Korean colossal drama, 136 episodes.. I know, wow.. it’s a very long journey.. Yeah, it’s a very very long story, I can’t even summarize it. Maybe you can get the story on http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dae_Jo_Yeong_(TV_series).

I got to give a two thumps up! To Choi Soo Jong who played Dae Jo Yeung. His voice is changing from the one when he was teenage ‘till he became a king. It’s incredible!! And it feels like the charisma of the general Dae Jo Young itself growing within time.. Let’s do some review now, shall we?!

There’s a lot of part of the series which I love, and makes me crying out loud!!

First, is the moment where the teenage Dae Jo Yeung met his mother (they were separated, in order to save Jo Yeung), but they were captured so they were tortured, ‘till his mom died. Then, there’s part where he was betrayed by Shila which make him loosed all of his men and got him near to death, which got him paralyze and loose hope. But the king sent him a message written by the king’s blood which makes Jo Yeung inspired and get back!!

Then, the part where he’s captured by Tang’s armies and he have to walk on the Tang’s street and everyone throw rock upon him, but his 2 sworn brothers Hae Suk Dol and GulsaBiwu protect him.. Then the part Heuksudol and Gyepilsamun stay behind to delay the army.. Gyepilsamun is killed by Li Kaigu's arrows, and Heuksudol stays to avenge him, got captured then they executed him..

And the where Geum Lan and Biwu were trapped and Geum Lan asked Biwu to carry him on his back to get them move faster (Geum Lan’s legs is broke), but her true intention is to protect Biwu’s back.. so she is killed by arrows because he’s protecting Biwu..HOoo.. actually this is the part where I cry the most, damn hate it!! And the last one is where Dae Jung Sang, JoYeung’s father is captured but when he is about to be on a hostage exchange time, he fought back the Tang’s to fuels the morale of the Goguryeo-Mohe’s armies.. he said there’re 3 things that’ll describe him. First he’s a goguryeon, Second, he is a warrior, and the last he is a father… SHUuuTTT!!!

Okay. You might think that I’m just being over react but the sacrifice that they willing to do without any hesitation just touching me. Their loyalty, their spirit and will to sacrifice themselves in order to protect something that values for them is just indefinable.

They asked nothing in return, all they asked is just “stay alive”.

Honoring