Are we or Aren't we ?!

Okay, currently I'm kind of addicted to Sex and the City.. I found a lot of questions from that show. you know, in that show the main character Carrie with her 3 best friends which I found look a lot like me and my three best friends where we talk about a lot of things (but not sex). And today I've just got the intercultural communication class's final test. And I think and just keep thinking by myself, about low and hight context and which one is better and I just don't know.
It's really is confusing. Is staying virgin a wrong thing to do? do we really really need to do a "test drive" before marriage? is dating supposed to be casual relationship or a bonding relationship?! Is that wrong to be a successful woman? Is that wrong to be single in our 30s? Is being married really that worst?

And many many more questions?

Not just from Sex and the City from other movies I also found that low-context people they don't say the words "I love you" that easily and I think that's a good thing to do. You know I've been in a relationship before and I know it's really really difficult for to say "aku sayang kamu". And I just don't know why..but my tounge just twisted up and I can't say those words.. That's why I kind of confused when I my boyfriend (at that time) told me to say those words.. For me those words cannot been speaked out unless we really really meant it. (in a relationship, it's easy for me to say I love u mom or dad or my other famz).

And about being virgin.. okay honestly "test drive" is a must do. I know in my culture it's taboo. But, I don't care I mean based on my research from movies, books, and my families stories (u know they talk about sex in front of me, they're really really open about it). Sex is one of the "key" to a marriage. it's also good medically and mentally, to keep the intimacy of those couple. Call me a whore.. but that's what I believe.

Successful woman?! I want to be a success and independent woman that can count on herself, financially ofcourse. But u know there's thing called "bachelor" about a single man, rich, successfull, good looking.. which will be haunt by every single woman. but how about "bachelorette" a single woman, successfull, and good looking.. no one want to be with her, man are affraid of those woman. Why? is that wrong? Come on, woman have dreams..woman have power.. don't be such an selfish asshole.. damn!

We're all living on the same universe, we breath on the same air, we're eating from the same land that called earth.. why man and woman can't be the same? Why there's no specific word to described a man-whore or a man-bitch.. why it's all only for woman?

NIGHTMARE at Studio XXI

Okay, I need to take a deep breath before I write down my story
it began at 18.40 on Feb 08th '08 at Studio XXI, the 3rd studio (I think!!)
the nightmare is movie I watched, it called KUNGFU DUNK.. yes it's Jay Chow's movie
that thing, it cannot be described as a movie..it's a nightmare!!
I wonder who the fuck is the writer?! he doesn't have a brain I guess, the scenario is..Euww..
there's no conflict, the story..arght!! I can't even described it with words
A kungFu centre in a middle of a modern city?!
A basketball Tournament that worth a fight with the gangster?!
A new boy in team, and no one at the team is bother by him?!
No conflict!!
A KungFu fight at the middle of a BasketBall tournament?!
A weird "gigolo-like" costumes as uniform?!
A turning back time???!!! what the fuck?!

This isn't heroes, OMG..
Jay Chow acts is just awfull, I think he's always do the same character at his movies, juat like in Initial D and The Secret.. he played a sweet innocent and quite guy with huge talent... Sory Jay, but you suck!!

From the bad thing, here comes the good one..
yay...
Currently I'm addicted to this song. I've always love Kpop, I think Kpop songs oftenly got a great lyrics..and I've always love Sg wannabe since I heard their song titled "partner of life", where the Mv is staring Kim Dong Wan (Shinhwa's member) that's really really a real heart breaking MV..
And in their newest album I'm falling in love with this ong...
These are the translation, taken from www.aheeyah.com

Sg Wannabe - First Snow

On the first day that it snowed, I held your hands tightly
We treaded on the softly fallen snow
I didn't know that the most beautiful person in the world,
Will be the one to hurt me
We said goodbye, You left me
The one who let go of my hand so cold-heartedly

I love you... Even though it pains my heart, it's alright
I love you... Even though my tears flow, it's okay
If you are happier with someone else than you were with me, it's fine
Because... I love you

I ended up crying seeing the image of your back, leaving me
I loved you so much...

I love you... Even though it pains my heart, it's alright
I love you... Even though my tears flow, it's okay
If you are happier with someone else than you were with me, it's fine
Because I love you

On the days that the snow falls again,
On such days, I always end up thinking of you
What am I supposed to do every time that happens?
How am I supposed to forget you and still keep on living?

You were the person who lived inside my heart
I devoted my whole life to you
If the heavens will allow a day for us to meet again,
On such a day, let's not be apart

And these are the MV...



aa... so sweet isn't it?!
didn't really make sense but it's sweet right?!

A new start and a Farewell

Start...
yeah.. it's been a while, I've been quite busy. doing a lot of things like baking, reading, and another reading. recently I got some good news for me, the things that fire up my spirit again! yay... I can take the kolokium class together with the EKK class. So I guess my target, my dream to graduate in 3.5 years still on my track.

Then..
I'm watching a lot of new movie trailers today, such as Jumper, Hayden Christensen's movie, The Dark NIght, etc. But one simple movie that attrack me so much is a movie titled Sleepwalking, it's a movie about family and I don't know how to explain it, but there's a simple quote on the trailer.. "JOleen is a woman that stuck in yesterday... James is a man that cannot imagine tomorrow.. Lara is a girl that trapped in the middle".. see it's really really interesting right?!

The FareweLL...
This afternoon my friend, Mr. John went to America for about 1 month to continue his last operation (he has cancer). So me and my fams we're calling him to say good bye. I talked with him, "Hey, Mr. John it's me Feli" then he reply "Oh, my cat" (he always calls me cat, from Felix the cat so I'm Feli the cat). I said good luck, get well soon, and come back soon. And said happy Chinese new year to him.. I'm gonna miss him, my fams gonna miss him too. He's a great man, he's smart , he's funny, and really really nice...

Becoming NERD!!!

Okay, I've spend this last 2 weeks reading, this is really really suck!! why? because the non-original dvd stands in PTC were all close!! Damn.. while I'm still in the middle watching Kdrama BAD LOVE by Kwon Sang Woo, the cute sexy guy..hmm..love him!!
I've read His Dark Material Trilogy by Philip Pullman :
1. The Golden Compas
2. The Subtle Knife
3. The AMber Spyglass

I read it because I've just watched the movie which played by Daniel Craig and Nicole Kidman that I think was a good movie, great effect..And one think that makes me really really interested in the books was beacues it said that there's an atheist site that Philip Pullman wrote on those books. ANd I just wanted to check it out!!
And I do agree with those statement, I won't tell you why. I'll just let you borrow the books from me if you want to know and read it yourself. The sory itself was interesting but somehow I just felt boring while reading it..

It's totally different when I read Harry Potter #7, the book is really really totally 100% interesting, I can't stop readin and keep reading it, I only spend 2 days to finish it!! From the very first chapter we already feel the thrill. A lot of actions and also a lot of death. But it's amazing!!! trust me!!

and currently I'm on my way finishing Eldest, the 2nd books of the Christopher Paolini trilogy.. and as soon I finished it, I've prepared The Bartemius Trilogy.. which start with The Amulet of Samarkand..

Reading is a good thing to do
it'll give you a lot of new knowledge
it'll give you thrill, sadness, exitement, etc...

it doesn't have to be a 'heavy' books
a 'light' books, fantasy, romance, actions
anything!!
It'll give you something to learn

This is the day, the 'it' day

Okay, there're 4 reason that makes this day is the day.. a lot of things.. sadness, happiness, stupidness, etc...

1. Yesterday night I found out that one of my favourite actor my dearest Heath Ledger have found death on his flat. these year I've been looking foward to see his actions on batman's together with Christian Bale.. SO sad, Love u Heath!!


2. Then on the afternoon I talked to Mrs. Veve, and she said that we must have taked EKK class before we start the kolokium, and my head started to spinning around.
After doing some thinking and think and more thinking.. Aha, I think I still have the 2nd options, where I have to take the kolokium together with 'skripsi'.. Okay, calm down, there's a way..

3. I'm happy, like really really happu.. my mood goes up really really high.. got a new cellphone, Sony Ericsson k850 yay... so exited, then I went to PTC with Angel, Anita, Ce Vonny, and Mr. Meyer. We're watching American Gangster which I tought was boring because there're no god-looking guy on screen..Haha...

4. This was the most embarasing moment of my life, you know after movie we decided to have dinner at Leko, then we go to my car then I drove to leko. Then by the time I want to get out of the car I can't find my sandals. After I review my memories I think i left my sandals at PTC parking area. It has been my behavior to take off my sandals or shoes whenever I drive.. And I think this is what actually happended..
'I take of my sandals one by one while I get into the car, then so long sandals'.
This is silly, Anita said it looked like a cinderella story, but you left both of them..
So stupid. I think this is the proof that maybe my mind is not really really that positive after I heard the news from Mrs. Veve earlier this day. Just like The Secret say that if we think something bad on and on, It'll atracted more bad things to us...

Oh btw, yesterday night I've finished Harry Potter 7th, and I think this book is amazingly awesome.. A lot of thrilling scene, when Harry broke into the minister building, then to the Bank that's being guard by goblins, the war..it's exiting, even there're few people that I wish they won't die such as Fred, Lupin, Tonks and mad-eye Moody...

No quotes from me..
Gotta make my mood life again now..
Wish me luck!!

Something on my mind...

In this ordinary night, after I brushed my teeth, wearing my night-cream, wearing my pijamas, and not in the mood on reading.. I just don't know what am I supposed to do. then I just stand right there, straing at the mirror, day-dreaming.. trying to focusing my minds on what I want and try to make the pictures of it (just like what I read on "The Secret"), I just feeling boring. wondering when can I get out of this boring dailly activities. So.. why don't I write something on my blog.. eh..

Okay, I've just finished reading my friends blog, where she wrote a testimonial and gratitude for me and her other friends, she just moved me. Like really really touch my heart, just makes me love myself more.. where she said that she think I am the most crazy and rebellion person that she ever met, but she think I have my own principles. And she said that she learn to be herself, to do whatever she wanted to do, and to not listen what others think about us.. She makes me proud of myself.

"There are two kinds of egoists, first are those who admits it and The rest of us" - Lawrence J. Peter
You know, people always said that I am immature, selfish, lazzy, just a dreamer.. but hearing that someone is learning something from me makes me feels that I can do something to others too. I always thought that I'm just an ordinary girl, with her huge dreams and big plan on her life which is really really egoist, stupid.
But you know what?! I don't care anymore..

"This is your life..are you who you want to be?!..." - Switchfood

YES! this is my life
There're no such things as time machine, so we can't go back
NO REGRET..
just do what you want to do
talks to your heart
don't be afraid of mistakes, beacuse mistakes is the best lecture that you could ever had! NO TURNING BACK..
I am what I am
I love tattoo, I love Rock Music, and I'm an Agnostic
I'm proud of what I am now
I'm a person with dream, so I know where to go right now, I'm not lost again
I know it's easy to get my dream, but it's worth trying..

"people become rich and powerfull by wanting to be rich and powerfull" - Paul Arden

shut up and listen!!

I'm an agnostic
I'm an agnostic...

arght.. no matter how much you'll mock me, I'll still be an agnostic..
Okey, do you want me to say, okey I'm an christian, I'll go to church everyweek, but.. deep down inside my heart, I AM AN AGNOSTIC!!

"going to chruch doesn't make you a christian anymore than going to garage make you a mechanic" Lawrence J. Peter

I don't want to lie to myself
I don't want to play dress up here, I just want to be me.. an agnostic
I am what I am
please don't try to makes me do things that is not me!!
things that's totally the opposite of me, stop trying to make me someone else but me!!

I love myself the way I am!!
I'm a rebel
I'm an agnostic
I am ME!!!!