The Musketeer Street

New Year Resolutions

2010-12-31T05:01:00.000-08:00

bye bye 2010.. hello 2011
as for this new year I'm hoping for a whole new adventures, new places, new people, new excitements.

1. I want to finish up my 6 unfinished books + read more books
2. Be more 3C : Critical, Careful, and Calm in handling my jobs
3. Be a better friends, better listeners, n better advicers
4. Be more mature, more sensitive, more patience, more girlie, and more confident.
5. Be more generous.. give more
6. lose some weight (or at least just maintaining my current weight)
7. Save more, less spending

hmm.. I think that's it
I just want to be a better me. Let the past be my lessons and move on and be more awesome.

HAPPY NEW YEAR to y'all

Obsession Over Weirdness

2010-11-19T05:17:00.000-08:00

I'm in love with myself.
Well, you can say I'm a little bit of a narcissistic. I think I'm a strong woman, with her own capability to stand up on her own.

I don't like to be told what to do.
I tend to speak up my point of views. And I'm not afraid to admit some facts about me, even if some people might think that I'm a weirdo.

Like when people see my tattoo, or when I told them that I'm an agnostic, or when I do my nails.

I enjoy being weird.
But I know that what will make it better is to have someone who loves every bit of your weirdness. And someone that'll love your love handle.

Speak Up and just.. Speak Up!

2010-11-17T04:13:00.001-08:00

Some people told me that in business you have to be aggressive and selfish. You have to step out of your game, don't screw up, don't wait for the opportunity to come.. you chase them.

But what happens when someone that told me that actually telling me that I was being selfish, questioning me whether I ever consider others feeling.

So, what is it about business world that I have to be?
Should I turn into this hungry monster, chasing after success, chasing after opportunity. Or should I be a saint?

Well, is it wrong to speak up your mind, being selfish.. and being able to express my feeling, the anger, the disappointment?

Do I have to keep my voice down, and just talk it to myself?
And let people control me, telling me what to do, what to feel, how to behave, how to do this and that... Even if I life in not-so-free country, I don't want to be not-so-free in expressing how I feel.

I've always think of myself as a very very.. selfish person. but, is it wrong? I think admitting that you're selfish is way less selfish than denying it. Cause I believe that every single person in this world is selfish.

Fear You'll Fall

2010-11-09T03:15:00.000-08:00

Waiting fot the right 'moment'.
Waiting for the right 'person'.

Maybe that was just a lame excuse that we created in order to escape the falling. In order to hide our fear. But the maybe there are no perfect 'moment', there are no perfect 'person'.

We just need to be dare in creating that 'not so perfect moment' with this 'not so perfect person'. And we just change the way we see this imperfection.

Coz if we just waiting.. and waiting..
we'll just ended up with so many things unsaid. And you'll just can questioning 'what if..'.

At the end of the day, all we can do is just be daring to fall. Cause I know that we're way stronger than you think. We as a human being has the capability to be strong. Just believe that.

A Walk Through Ashes

2010-11-08T03:17:00.000-08:00

I went to some shelter for the volcano disaster's victims with some people from my company. We sent out foods, water, blanket, medicines and many more. And what I've witnessed is just.. horrible

On our way to Jogja from Semarang we passed by some small local town which had already turned into gray. Everything is gray and dead, all those greenish scenery now turned into a sad, gray, and covered with ashes.

In one of the shelter in Salam, Magelang the condition is terrible. They put hundred of elders in one small room, where there's like no room to move. The air is dusty, smelly, and just awful. It was hot and they're lying on the hard floor. Because there are no electricity after 5pm and no clean water running.

It was a very great opportunity for me, even if I just delivering these small help. I'm hoping more people will lend their hands to not just pray but to actually DO something.

In or Out

2010-11-03T02:39:00.000-07:00

When you finally ready to let yourself fall, when you finally open your heart to let someone enter it, and when everything seems so perfect.. that’s when the problems will come to you.

You’ll be in a position where you have no shield, no protection, just empty-handedly walking with that one person.

That one person will protect you, hold you, and never let go. Or.. they’ll run, hide, and leave you.

That’s the risk of this madness called “falling in love”. It’s like a big investment, if you success you’ll be rich, but if you lose then you’ll go bankrupt.

If you’re successful, you’ll feel like nothing’s impossible. However, fall out of love feels like being a dead man walking. You’re alive, you’re doing your daily activity, but somehow you can’t feel a thing.

So, is it really worth the risk?
And when you fall out of love, will you be able to recover?
When you two finally find your happy ending, will it last forever?

Bias in Life

2010-11-01T06:16:00.000-07:00

When it come to life, a future.. I can be a real jerk. I am a very selfish person. because in my mind this is my own life, and the one that can decide what to do with this short life of mine is me.

That's why when it comes to life. I tend to close my ears and just walk.
Walk the life as I wanted, whether it's a walk to a cold place, hot place, or a warm place. Coz sometimes we really need to step up, forget about the rest of the world and start to focusing on our own happiness.

Don't be afraid if people gonna hate you, don't you care about what others might think about you. Life is way too damn short to worried about those crap talks.

because the thing is, we can't control what's gonna happens. we're not some kind a psych who can read the future. Life can be both simple and complicated, depends on what you want to interpret them to be. How you see life, how you see love, how you see people is bias.

Everything in life has two sides of it story, just like a coin. it just depends on your own thoughts. so whether this post is a crap or an inspiration is actually based on your thoughts.

7 months of My First Worklife

2010-09-14T23:35:00.000-07:00

can't believe it's been 7 months I worked in this company. A lot of things happen to me, I've changed.. getting better at something and getting worse at the other. It's a 7 months that I'll remember.

Feb 2010 :
first month, gone to Bali for 2 weeks for my first Branch Manager Meeting, Annual National Sales Conference and retail visit.

March 2010 :
Join the indobuildtech expo in Gramedia Expo and stay up all night with the team till the next day. Went to Jakarta for my 2nd BM Meeting and stay there to do my retail visit.. but must go back earlier cause my grandma past away.

April 2010 :
My boss's birthday so we prepare a performance for her birthday, went to Jakarta to do a model casting

May 2010 :
Off to Jakarta to do a photo shoot with Jerry Aurum, preparing my first project : NBA Madness

June 2010 :
NBA Madness. Off to Jakarta stay up without sleep for 2 days to do Indobuildtech expo in JCC.

July 2010 :
Meet and Greet with Trevor Ariza with 200 orphanages. Off to Jakarta, meeting with marketing team and the architect to plan the annual launching on November. My 2nd big project : PA Trip to Paris.

August 2010 :
Off to Jakarta for meeting, find agency, and.. my biggest failure.. I screwed up the PA Trip must postponed it to November.

there're still more that I've experienced.
And I realize that I still got way lottt moreee to learn.

The Rules of Dating

2009-11-04T06:02:00.000-08:00

when we get close to someone, you're getting to know each other, you go out just the two of you, you're texting each other everyday, you guys grew closer, and the more you know them the more you feel something to them. You feel the 'spark'.. it's a very great feeling..

But, what happens when the rules of dating came?
The hard to get tricks.. the disappearing.. the freakin' test..
It's not a very good feeling.

It feels sucks! I hate it, why can't we just go with the flow..
Forget about all the tricks.. No testing.. No game..

We're not a god damn mind reader. We can't understand unless they told or show us.

KISS and TELL

2009-09-29T10:12:00.000-07:00

"For a kiss to be really good, you want it to mean something. You want it to be with someone you can't get out of your head, so that when your lips finally touch you feel it everywhere. A kiss so hot and so deep you never want to come up for air. You can't cheat your first kiss. Trust me, you don't want to. Cause when you find that right person for a first kiss, it's everything." - Alex Karev from grey's Anatomy

I've never been kissed!
There I said it.. it's true!! no need to be surprised!
I am 21 and I've never been kissed!
I've been in a relationship 2 times and in a few flings
But.. I just can't do the 'KISS'

I don't know why.. it's like my heart telling me that 'He's not the ONE'. I know it'll sound ridiculous and corny, but this is ME. I can't lie to myself..
And to be honest.. I've never actually said 'I LOVE YOU'.. or in Indonesian it will be 'aku sayang kamu'.

cAN'T!!!

It's just a simple words but it just won't come out..
it's so hard that I can't breath..
some people will thing that I am being over reacted or silly or crazy.. but I am not lying.

Will I be able to KISS and TELL?
Only time will answer that..
until then..
I'll continue my journey alone with my freinds and famz!!

Expired Date

2009-09-29T10:11:00.001-07:00

Expired date:
Female: 25-30

We can find those labels on most Indonesian. Woman should get married, take care of their husband, have kids, take care of their in laws, cook, clean.. and they have to do it before their 30s.
Who said that? Who claimed that statement?
Why would we... Women have to make a limit for our self?

We have to make no expired date for our self.
We need to able to do whatever it is we want to do.. we don’t need to get married just because the society will think that we are single desperate and lonely. NO!!
We are allowed to stay single, happy, and successful no matter how old we are!

GOD didn’t make any statement that said we have to be married before our 30s
Government didn’t make laws that said we are not allowed to stay single after our 30s

That label came because we made it.
We feel insecure.. Afraid that we’ll ended up all alone and lonely...
NO... We don’t need to rush our self, we don’t need to be embarrassed or scare...

Until...
You found the ONE, than we don’t need to be scare of the ‘expired date’.
Because if we commit, we have to do it like we meant it.
Do it with all of your heart.. Don’t take it half way..

BITCH series

2009-07-24T09:52:00.000-07:00

I am looking for a job now.. and since like yesterday after one of my dear best friend told me about 'how to be noticeable' then it kind of inspire me to do this BITCH series..
it's an email that I sent about 5x to each company I'm applying.
In that email I explain the reason behind each subject.
My first subject is :
1. Reckless BITCH for your TEAM

Inside I describe what is real meaning and reason behind being a reckless person and what is the true intention of being a BITCH.

BITCH - Babe in Total Control of Herself
I got these from a book titled 'Why Man Married Bitches"

The 2nd act is :
2. Stubborn BITCH for your team

I've prepare a few more subjects for the next few days and I won't stop until I get a JOB.. not just an OKAY JOB but a CAREER.

3. Cultural BITCH for your TEAM
4. Silly BITCH for your TEAM
5. Hopeful BITCH for your TEAM
6. DREAMER BITCH for your TEAM
7. Rebellious BITCH for your TEAM

But let's all crossed our finger and HOPE that I won't need to think of another subjects.

Good Luck to all of u that's looking for a JOB
May The Force Be With Uuu...

POLITICs

2009-07-17T05:51:00.000-07:00

today 3 bombing striking the capital city of my country. some rumors said it's not some terrorist attack but it was done by none other than one of the vice-president candidate from the last election. The thing that really bother me is that how could someone even hurt others just to satisfying their own ego. their lust.. their desire over MONEY, FAME, and POWER.
we really really need to have a government with no AMBITION-JUNKIE personal.

Mistakes

2009-02-17T05:06:00.000-08:00

"OK, yes it's a mistake. I know it's a mistake, but there are certain things in life where you know it's a mistake but you don't really know it's a mistake because the only way to really know it's a mistake is to make the mistake and look back and say 'yep, that was a mistake.' So really, the bigger mistake would be to not make the mistake, because then you'd go your whole life not knowing if something is a mistake or not. And dammit, I've made no mistakes! I've done all of this; my life, my relationship, my career, mistake-free. Does any of this make sense to you?"

LiLy Adrin - How I Met Your Mother

So, are you willing to make mistakes?

SoulMate

2009-02-17T04:50:00.000-08:00

I've just went from being single to in a relationship.
People asked me how I feel, but I don't know how to answer.. is it joy? is it relieve? I don't know.. maybe it's been a long time since I fell in love with someone. I really really can't explained about how I feel, it feels like my heart won't talk to me anymore. And just like in my past relationship, I find it hard to actually say "I Love you", I don't know how people can't say it casually with someone that they in a relationship with.. I know it's an easy words, and I can casually say it to my friends and family, but with someone I'm in a relationship with.. it can be extremely difficult!! It feels like a giant candy got stuck in my throat!! seriously!! I'm not saying this because I've watched to many movies!! this is real!!

Okay..
Couples has their own soundtrack, so did I.. this is the song that played in my car, the day when he ask me to be his girlfriend.. it took a while, so I actually got 2 songs!!!

#1 LifeHouse - Hanging by a Moment

Desperate for changing
Starving for truth
I'm closer to where I started
Chasing after you
I'm falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I've held onto
I'm standing here until you make me move
I'm hanging by a moment here with you

Forgetting all I'm lacking
Completely incomplete
I'll take your invitation
You take all of me now...

I'm falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I've held onto
I'm standing here until you make me move
I'm hanging by a moment here with you
I'm living for the only thing I know
I'm running and not quite sure where to go
And I don't know what I'm diving into
Just hanging by a moment here with you

There's nothing else to lose
There's nothing else to find
There's nothing in the world
That can change my mind
There is nothing else
There is nothing else
There is nothing else

Desperate for changing
Starving for truth
I'm closer to where I started
Chasing after you....

#2 Natasha Bedingfield - Soulmate

Incompatible, it don't matter though
'cause someone's bound to hear my cry
Speak out if you do
You're not easy to find

Is it possible, Mr. Loveable
Is already in my life?
Right in front of me
Or maybe you're in disguise
[Chorus]
Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone

Here we are again, circles never end
How do I find the perfect fit
There's enough for everyone
But I'm still waiting in line
[Chorus]
Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone
If there's a soulmate for everyone
[Bridge]
Most relationships seem so transitory
They're all good but not the permanent one
[Chorus]

Goodbye 2008! Hello 2009!!

2008-12-31T09:10:00.000-08:00

I spend my last 2 minutes in year 2008 playing Solitaire and get on the phone with Anita. Haha, this is so out of my plan. This s not my best new year eve but hopefully I’ll get a wonderful year on 2009.. Yay!!!
Good bye 2008, HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!
My wish for 2009 :
- Graduate
- Losing some weight
- Do Backpacking travel
- Be a better person, a better friend, and a better daughter

So, happy new year everyone.. keep having faith in yourself, be positive, and keep on dream BIG!! We got to be dare to dream.. as much as possible, as high as the sky as wide as the universe!
WELCOME 2009!

O Happy X'mas

2008-12-26T07:38:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas!! I know it's kinda late, well I was in a rush yesterday and I got home pretty late so I don't have enough time to post this entry!! but there's no word to late and no moment to late to wish you all a very Happy Christmas!! may all the angels, stars, Santa, and peace be with you!!

I got up this morning at 07.50 (yesterday morning!), very very exited with this year christmas. I opened my door and gave my mom a big kiss on her cheeks and I replied on every single messages that came through the night. I went to TP with my big family, and we had a bad (super bad) lunch at the new location of The Duck King restaurant at TP. the service was just super not good, the food presentation and taste is not even so-so and it really really 2 thumbs down for this restaurant!!

After lunch, I got separated from my uncles and cousins. Then suddenly my uncle call me and told me to go to the Louis Vuiton store at Sheraton Hotel. then, he asked me to choose between 3 choices of LV handbags. And I choose the one on the left, the one in gray. (my uncle and I have already looking for the right bag for me since my birthday this year). And he bought it for me, YAy.. I got my first very own branded bag!! yay.. (I've only got to Betsey Johnson's Betsieville, never got Gucci, LV, Chloe or stuff like that's actually belong to me and only me not my momz or my aunties!)

Then we headed to ZARA and I get to buy my shoes, the shoes that I wanted 2 weeks ago. With the discount it goes down from 699.000 to 499.000.. yay!! and later at the night I go to Karaoke with my friends!!! let's "yay..." once again!!! lol... I got a lotz of fun these 2 days!!
So, Thank u Christmas day for bringing my famz and friends together!!
I hope I could get a great Christmas day for next year.. the year after next year.. and so on..

Happy Christmas everyone!!
may the force be with you, always!

O Holy Night

2008-12-24T08:06:00.000-08:00

It's Christmas night!! yay.. I don't know why but I love christmas very very much!! even tough I'm an agnostic and I go to the church just to make my mom happy but I feel that Christmas is there for everyone. It's there for buddist, muslims.. just anyone! christmas is warming for me. It's a family moment where we share our happines and just have fun.
Just right after the boringness inside the church is over, my famz gather around.. together for the first time in more than 5 years on christmas eve! there're my uncles, aunties, cousins, my mom, and me. We gather at Imari restaurant, J.W. Marriot and we're just keep cheersing, saying merry christmas.. it was a lot of fun!! I think this is the best christmas eve I've ever got in the past 5 years (maybe more).
I believe this is the miracle, the answer to my hope (I hope I can gather around and have fun with my famz at christmas eve).. So, thank u GOD!! wherever and whatever you are!!

So.. I just want to say.. Merry Christmas everyone!!
I hope all of u got a very wonderful christmas!!!
may the force be with u, always!!!

MILK

2008-12-23T06:14:00.000-08:00

"My name is Harvey Milk and I'm here to recruit you. "
Harvey Milk

I've just watched MILK, a movie about Harvey Milk, the first openly gay man to hold a major political position in Unites States, San Fransisco. Starring Sean Penn, one of the best actor of all time. This movie is very inspiring for me personally, I don't know why I got inspired by his action to fight for gay right.. but there's something about his personality, his easy going attitude, his ability to move anyone, or whatever.

"Hope will never be silent. " - Harvey Milk, 1978

Many gay people of the late 70s lived in the closet, so the election of an openly gay man was a major milestone in the gay political world and the personal lives of gay individuals. he is so brave..even if he got some assassination threats, Milk only said, "If a bullet should enter my brain, let that bullet destroy every closet door."
That's the day when his famous "HOPE SPEECH" :
"And the young gay people in the Altoona, Pennsylvanias and the Richmond, Minnesotas who are coming out and hear Anita Bryant in television and her story. The only thing they have to look forward to is hope. And you have to give them hope. Hope for a better world, hope for a better tomorrow, hope for a better place to come to if the pressures at home are too great. Hope that all will be all right. Without hope, not only gays, but the blacks, the seniors, the handicapped, the us'es, the us'es will give up. And if you help elect to the central committee and other offices, more gay people, that gives a green light to all who feel disenfranchised, a green light to move forward. It means hope to a nation that has given up, because if a gay person makes it, the doors are open to everyone."

On Nov. 27, 1978, Harvey Milk was shot twice in the head by conservative and disgruntled supervisor Daniel White. Milk's death made him a martyr. His supervisor seat was given to openly-gay politician Harry Britt. A year after Milk's death 100,000 people demonstrated for gay rights in Washington D.C. chanting "Harvey Milk Lives." He was also the inspiration for Cleve Jones' AIDS quilt and his bravery the catalyst for the modern day gay rights movement. Today, many gay social institutions are named after Harvey Milk, including The Harvey Milk School in New York City.

"The important thing is not that we can live on hope alone, but that life is not worth living without it." Harvey Milk - 1978

reference :
http://gaylife.about.com/od/gaycelebrityprofiles/p/harveymilkmilch.htm
http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/h/harvey_milk.html

Don't Stop

2008-12-01T07:48:00.000-08:00

"No..no.. No but.. you're not allowed to give up.
You're not allowed to give up because you believe in you..guts, that this is right.
And..and.. and besides we're all inherited this absorb drives to make things that.. that..
Yeah they seem complicated and messy but we can turn them into something GREAT!"

Kitty Walker/McCalister from Brothers and Sisters

Yes, we're all have something that we want. Such as.. graduating from collage, getting a great job, etc. And the thing is, there're no easy way to something that we want. Because something that we got from a more complicated and hard way is gonna be something BIG.. Huge!!
It'll be a hard way, we'll spend times.. strengths.. hopes.. but the place we're going to.. it'll worth the try!
If we feel like going down, just take a short break.. redeem yourself, recharge and when you feel like going again... You GO!! we're a human being, with our own weaknesses, we're not perfect, we have our limit. So, it's okay to feel depressed or tired.. it's normal and it's okay!!
Just don't do back or STOP!

just like my friends, Anita and Suzie
the spend a lot of effort for the great KoLo
there're times when they feel like so tired, so stupid but.. they're not stopping, they're just taking a short break. Then, they go and fight again!!

congratz babes!!

Anita..FIGHTING!!!

2008-11-28T05:11:00.000-08:00

You know I'm hoping you sing along
I know it's not your favorite song
don't wanna be there when there's nothing left to say
you know that some of us spin again
when you do, you need a friend
don't wanna be there when there's nothing left for me
and I hate to thought of finally being erased
baby that's the best of me

Daniel Powter - Best of Me

I dedicated this entry to my best friend, Anita. Who've been feeling down because of the great Kolokium judgment day is coming and she's the first to go!.. Wish u a very good luck babe! may all the stars come right upon you and give you the power, the confident and the magic.. Just want you to know that even if you fail it's not the end of the world!

So no one told you life was gonna be this way
Your jobs a joke, you're broke, your love life's D.O.A.

It's like you're always stuck in second gear
And it hasn't been your day, your week, your month,
or even your year
but..

I'll be there for you
When the rain starts to pour
I'll be there for you
Like I've been there before
I'll be there for you
'Cuz you're there for me too...

You're still in bed at ten
And work began at eight
You've burned your breakfast
So far... things are goin' great

Your mother warned you there'd be days like these
Oh but she didn't tell you when the world has brought
You down to your knees that...

I'll be there for you
When the rain starts to pour
I'll be there for you
Like I've been there before
I'll be there for you
'Cuz you're there for me too...

No one could ever know me
No one could ever see me
Seems you're the only one who knows
What it's like to be me
Someone to face the day with
Make it through all the rest with
Someone I'll always laugh with
Even at my worst I'm best with you, yeah

It's like you're always stuck in second gear
And it hasn't been your day, your week, your month,
or even your year...

Rembrandts - I'll be there for you

Isn't it Giving Up?

2008-11-27T00:06:00.000-08:00

Paul Arden said "it's better to regret somethingthat you have done than haven't". He is also mention that we need to fight, trying, and keep hoping no matter what. But.. is there also the time that "we need to know when to let go"?
Well, in my own opinion, that's the same as giving up. What if, that was our chance? what if we got lucky? aren't we gonna regret it.
And the thing is for me, I believe that no matter what we've done or we'll do, we'll gain something from it. We'll gain experiences..knowledge.. we'll learn from it, so that we can fix it, we have that "+" so that we won't make the same mistake. SO, for me there's no "letting go". Even if they'll mock me or whatever, I'll keep on fighting! because letting do is just not my style. What about you?

Being Single And...

2008-10-26T06:15:00.000-07:00

I'm single now..
is that status makes me a lonely girl?
I was wondering what about being single and happy.
But the thing is, even if we watched a lot of movies or series about a woman that's single, successful, and happy.. at the end of the day.. they'll find someone, that makes the story goes up to be a happy "not single" successful woman.

Do I really have to rush myself, finding a guy, just a guy so that I could fix myself in the word "taken". Well, the thing is I am happy with my condition right now. But for some people, and maybe me (sometimes) being single in the world of "pairs" just kinda "hurt" (sometimes). Especially in my culture, where woman at 20s should be "taken". If not they'll mark us as some kind of "not good enough" person.

Once again, is it wrong to be single at 20s???

I am not saying that I'm not open to relationship, but what I want is a real relationship where I can find someone that'll love me, someone that willing to protect me, makes me feel save, happy, comfortable and hopeful. I want someone that'll support me, that'll give me my freedom, respect and understanding. Not just some guy... I want a man..
And I'll get my hopes up on this one!! lol..

Another Try

2008-10-17T05:56:00.000-07:00

"we like to think we're fearless, eager to explore unknown lands and suck up all new experiences. But the fact is, we're always terrified. Maybe the terrorists are part of the attraction. Some people go to horror movies, we cut things open. Dive in to dark water."

"And at the end of the day, isn't that would you rather to hear about?! If you got 1 drink and 1 friend and 45 minutes, smooth rides makes for boring story. A little calamity, that's worth talking about."

-Meredith grey-
Grey's Anatomy, season 5

Wow.. I did it myself, I listen and listen.. the I type it down.
I'm so in love with this quotes. know I've always said about getting out of my comfort zone, seeking for new experience, trying new things.. But, the truth is.. It's not that easy, sometimes I feel scare, what if my choice will turn into a disaster for me, what if.. what if..
I am scared, I am nervous and terrifies at the same time.
I've been down, rejected and disappointed so many times
But the thing is..
will I let my fears stop me?
will I let my regrets haunting me all time?
will I be brave enough to give it a try?

For me, everything worth the try.. every single thing that we do will give us something. it'll give us experiences, lesson.. so that we'll learn from it.
And time passed, it wont be repeated.. so instead of keep mourning over it, I guess.. give it another try won't cost me my life right?!
Failure is there.. whether it's big or small.. But, it's not the end of the world!

So What?!

2008-10-16T08:27:00.000-07:00

AAAaaaaaRRrrGGhhhTTT...
I just want to scream.. I failed, again.. for the second time!!
it hurts, it's like really really hurt.. I feel so stupid and disappointed at myself!!

Well, atleast I feel that for a while.. just for a while
Haha.. so what if I fail?!
I won't stop trying.. I'm a fighter.. I know I can!!

Coldplay - Lost

Just because I'm losing
Doesn't mean I'm lost
Doesn't mean I'll stop
Doesn't mean I will cross

Just because I'm hurting
Doesn't mean I'm hurt
Doesn't mean I didn't get what I deserve
No better and no worse

I just got lost
Every river that I've tried to cross
And every door I ever tried was locked
Ooh-Oh, And I'm just waiting till the shine wears off...

You might be a big fish
In a little pond
Doesn't mean you've won
'Cause along may come
A bigger one
And you'll be lost

Every river that you tried to cross
Every gun you ever held went off
Ooh-Oh, And I'm just waiting till the firing starts
Ooh-Oh, And I'm just waiting till the shine wears off
Ooh-Oh, And I'm just waiting till the shine wears off
Ooh-Oh, And I'm just waiting till the shine wears off…

Blood Is Ticker Than Water

2008-10-03T08:20:00.000-07:00

I've always said that it's doesn't matter where you're come from, doesn't matter what you've done in the past.. it's the future that you want to achieve that's matter. But the thing is we still can't forget or abandoning where are we came from. Who gave you life, who brought you to this world. I know world is not as pretty as heaven but it is real..
We've seen, heard, read about those people who've gained success but they kind of abandoning their past, they hide from it, they're lying to themselves, they're trying to cover it up, they feel ashamed about it. Well, for me.. if we came from a very painful past, then we can stand up strongly.. it is an achievement. It is an inspirational thing. Unless, you're getting it in a wrong way.
Maybe we can lie to the world, but we can't lie to ourselves. Blood is ticker than water. No matter where you are, what you've become you'll never get away from your past, especially our family. Because "it's" there.. the connection will last forever.

Laskar Pelangi

2008-09-27T08:36:00.000-07:00

Laskar Pelangi.. “Rainbow Club” or whatever it’ll be in English, I don’t know.. yeah, I’ve just watched it thi afternoon. To be honest, I think this is Indonesia’s best movie so far. It’s not commercial, unlike others movie that showed a lot of sponsor’s products. The actors are great, like really great. The filming overall looks expensive, serious and it have lots of beautiful Belitung’s island sceneries. And it shows how peaceful the life between Tiong Hua’s and the Belitung’s people even with the kid that has mental problem. Another thing that make this movie great is that the children who play the children of Laskar Pelangi itself come from Belitung’s island too. They have no experience in acting before, but they do it naturally.
The movie is very inspiring, because we can see the spirit of those kids, who’s willing to learn and the teachers who’s willing to teach them with low payment. This movie told us about dreams, will, and hearts. It said that they don’t need numbers to divide their brightness, it’s all come from the heart. And we must never stop dreaming, chasing our own rainbow. Doesn’t matter where we came from, it’s what we willing to do in order to achieve our dream.
Most importantly, this movie shows us the value we’ll get from school, from learning, from experiencing. And it’s not just in material way, but we can learn from the nature, let the trees, animals, winds tell us what they know… It’s all come from the heart.

We're All Can Be A Superman

2008-09-24T09:29:00.001-07:00

“Strength doesn’t open big iron doors, but a small key

We all have the key inside us to open the door to a new future.”

That’s the quote I got form a movie that I’ve just watched, A Man Once a Superman. It’s about a woman reporter, which specialized in human interest, so she film about any kind of weird or interesting human actions. One day, someone stole her bag then when she tries to cross over, she nearly got hit, but someone help her. He is a middle age man, who keeps saying that he is a superman. He doesn’t have any superpower because a bald guy put a kryptonite inside his head. But he keep helping people, such as help carrying elderly stuff, carry a man who is injured, helping elders that cross the road, etc. And he love to do story telling to the kids.

But.. the truth is, he is just a normal man, his father died when he was a little, but before his father leave he left him a message. Telling the boy to be good and help others like superman, so that one day he’ll be able to fly. And that night the boy goes outside and accidentally got a bullet trough his head, but he’s survived. Several years later, he’s driving with his wife and daughter, but they got into an accident. But no one help him, when he’s trying to help his daughter that stuck on the car, until the car exploded. Since than he’s claiming that he is a superman.

Then the doctors try to help him, by giving him pills to shut down his emotion and nerve system so he wont be able to feel angry, so he’s just like a robot. Until.. There’s a gas explosion and there’s a man stuck under a car, and he is trying to help him with his superpower. The car is moved, but not by his own power but.. There’re people helping him too.. until he get into the burning building to save his little friend, but they stuck on the 3^rd floor. So, he hold that girl and jump..

What I got from this movie, is not just about helping others. It got messages about global warming, what’s gonna happened. Such as Jaws attack, then no home for the polar bear and many more. Just like the quote above. We can help, we can change the future, the future is in our own hands. Maybe we have something to regret on the past, and we can’t change the past. But remember, WE CAN CHANGE THE FUTURE. It doesn’t have to be a big movement, we can start on a small step.. And one more thing, never lose your imagination. Never stop dreaming, have faith on it. Because believing and have faith on it, it’s like we’ve done half way to our goals. And that'll makes us, a Superman.

Honoring Dae Jo Yeung

2008-09-18T08:07:00.000-07:00

I’ve been crying a lot for the past 2 days.. why? Because I’ve been watching Dae Jo Yong, Korean colossal drama, 136 episodes.. I know, wow.. it’s a very long journey.. Yeah, it’s a very very long story, I can’t even summarize it. Maybe you can get the story on http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dae_Jo_Yeong_(TV_series).

I got to give a two thumps up! To Choi Soo Jong who played Dae Jo Yeung. His voice is changing from the one when he was teenage ‘till he became a king. It’s incredible!! And it feels like the charisma of the general Dae Jo Young itself growing within time.. Let’s do some review now, shall we?!

There’s a lot of part of the series which I love, and makes me crying out loud!!

First, is the moment where the teenage Dae Jo Yeung met his mother (they were separated, in order to save Jo Yeung), but they were captured so they were tortured, ‘till his mom died. Then, there’s part where he was betrayed by Shila which make him loosed all of his men and got him near to death, which got him paralyze and loose hope. But the king sent him a message written by the king’s blood which makes Jo Yeung inspired and get back!!

Then, the part where he’s captured by Tang’s armies and he have to walk on the Tang’s street and everyone throw rock upon him, but his 2 sworn brothers Hae Suk Dol and GulsaBiwu protect him.. Then the part Heuksudol and Gyepilsamun stay behind to delay the army.. Gyepilsamun is killed by Li Kaigu's arrows, and Heuksudol stays to avenge him, got captured then they executed him..

And the where Geum Lan and Biwu were trapped and Geum Lan asked Biwu to carry him on his back to get them move faster (Geum Lan’s legs is broke), but her true intention is to protect Biwu’s back.. so she is killed by arrows because he’s protecting Biwu..HOoo.. actually this is the part where I cry the most, damn hate it!! And the last one is where Dae Jung Sang, JoYeung’s father is captured but when he is about to be on a hostage exchange time, he fought back the Tang’s to fuels the morale of the Goguryeo-Mohe’s armies.. he said there’re 3 things that’ll describe him. First he’s a goguryeon, Second, he is a warrior, and the last he is a father… SHUuuTTT!!!

Okay. You might think that I’m just being over react but the sacrifice that they willing to do without any hesitation just touching me. Their loyalty, their spirit and will to sacrifice themselves in order to protect something that values for them is just indefinable.

They asked nothing in return, all they asked is just “stay alive”.

Honoring

Remembering Denny Duquette

2008-09-14T09:24:00.001-07:00

Denny Duquette, one of my fav character on TV of all time, played by Jeffrey Dean Morgan . From one of the best TV series ever, Grey's Anatomy. Yeah, he's a patient with heart problem, where he needs to get a heart transplant and he fell in love with the intern there, Izzie. They started as a friend, 'till she really really fell for him that makes her do all the crazy things to save his ass. But still.. when we tough it was going to be just fine.. he couldn't survive. He die.
But his character was very very generous, kind, loving, caring, and superb great guy. He's an optimist, he's carefree, and a very hopefull towards everything. Well off there's time when he fell down, when he feeling like give up.. Just being human, an ordinary one.
Here're some quotes from his character, as my way to thanks his character for being one of my inspiration :

"Sometimes you have to make big mistakes, to find out how to make things right"
"Mistakes are painful, but they're the only way to find out who you really are."
"Moments. That's all you get with the people you love."
"the things that I remember best – those are the things I wasn't supposed to do and I did them anyway. "
"The thing is : life is too damn short to be following these rules."
"Here's the good part, so you listen close, what I choose, is you. You're who I want to wake up with and go to bed with and do everything in between with. I get a choice now. I get to choose. I choose you."

It Aint A Sin

2008-09-12T01:11:00.000-07:00

We love watching all the romantic movies, especially when it have a happy ending, then the guys are good looking and so do the girls. We love those romantic quotes, romantic scene, all about Love..
But when it comes to a movie, where the guys is actually having the happy ending with the other guy it’s all.. just.. not the same. Yes, we’ll called it gay movies.. or anything, whatever. People will be like “eww..” or keep swearing. Yes, in my country homosexuality is still RARE. Because of the religiously affect in my country, they kind of bands the same gender relationship. The most recent news is they’re trying to make rules to not let transgenders actors come out. They say it is a sin.
Screw them all, I am straight and I know that this rules about banding transgenders has nothing to do with me. But what happened with our will to express our self freely, without any boundaries and without judgments. Being gay or lesbian is not a sin for me. We’re just having a different type of interest. Being gay doesn’t mean we’re being a killer, or a corrupter rite?! And being straight doesn't make us a saint rite?!
We’re not better than them, we’re all the same, we’re a human being. With our freedom to express our self. And after watching several movies or series which include some gay issue inside it, I found that they’re just like us, they fight, they fell in love, they want marriage, they want family, they’re just human.

“I’m completely, completely in love with you. I even love the things about you that I hate, because you make me feel like I don’t have to be anyone other than who I am, and to me, that feels like family and that’s what I want us to be.”
-Kevin to Scotty –

That’s the line from brothers and Sisters. Not bad right?!^^
I know for some people, from some culture found this thing confusing.. but it's not cruel, it's not even a crime, and it's not making them all go straight to hell.. I believe that GOD doesn't matter with your sexual orientations, it's what you do that'll counts!!

Thank You

2008-09-11T08:08:00.000-07:00

Mother..Father..Brothers..Sisters..Uncles..Aunts..GrandMa..

I am so damn lucky, to have it all.. and it’s not just saying I have them, but there’re bonding among us all. My family is a big young family, we’re the new faces of the new era. Yeah, my family is all about modernizations and we’re just like.. making our own creation of traditions. We call each others randomly unlike the traditional Chinese people with their own rules, which was just really really confusing.

More about my famz, we’re always gathering together. Almost everyday, and mostly at my grandma’s. There’ll a lot of great foods everyday, which make my diet plan completely destroyed.. not just foods there’ll be lots of gossips. Yeah, you know one news in my famz can travel through all the members by minutes. Everybody just keeps trying to inform everybody.

Haha, actualy this topics came out of my mind just as I watched Brothers and Sisters.. it's a series about a the Walker family, Nora and William Walker and their 5 children with their own drama. But, the thing is, no matter what problem or drama going on the family will get involve.. they're just care to each others, they know each others.. they're just like my famz.. I found out that my famz is like their reflection, without all the drama off course.

But you know, things I learned from this series is that family is something that will keep u, holding u, like really really stand up for u no matter what may happened.. They’ll stay, they’ll be there for u.. That’s a REAL FAMILY are..

in the end, i just want to be thankful for this amazingly unperfect annoying lousy famz..

Thank u mami.. thank u ko.. thank u kukulie, meme, russell, kelly, maggie, long, kwang, mama , papa, kukubing, katryn, kevin, kenny, albert, tata, tante rini, om yong, handoyo, halim, hardi, kumafong.. thank u ABO..

THANK U..

Stand Up Now.. Not Later

2008-09-10T07:51:00.001-07:00

And someday if they tell you about it
If the darkness knocks on your door
Remember her, remember me
We will be running as we have before
Running for answers, running for more

I run for hope, I run to feel
I run for the truth, for all that is real
I run for your mother, your sister, your wife
I run for you and me my friend

-I run for life by Melissa Etheridge –

I’ve just watched standup2cancer show, and I cried. It’s just get me, specially when the songs imagine was played and the actors became the narrator for those survivors. The message is just simple such as “I’m 2 years old and I’m a hero. I’ve done 2 surgeries and 8 cemo….” No freaky pictures added, there’re just they’re smiling faces.
And I couldn’t help myself but wonder, what can I do to change it.. to help it?? I feel ashamed of myself that can do nothing but writing this entry. I feel like I need to do something to make a different. Not just to all the cancer battlers but also to those who needs help.

So, anyone who read this entry.. Please keep this in mind.. You don’t need give a huge amount of donations. A single dime could help millions..
We don’t need to be big to start it. It can start by little actions..

Trust me, giving is much more fun than shopping.. well, I’m not saying I’ll stop shopping.. No, I’ll reduce it, and I’ll give more.
Because what we’ll do today, it’ll count, for a better tomorrow. Believe me on this!
I am not a religious person, but I believe that it’s what you do that counts!!

And you can do it now.. not later.. not next time..

Why We Need A Lot Of Shoes?

2008-08-26T18:59:00.001-07:00

Past.. it’s not just a past.. whether we deal with it, learn from it and get over it. Unless you want to waste your time mourning, regretting, and on and on..
But the trauma behind every single mistakes that we face on the past it’ll still there. Because no matter what we do we can’t escape from it. Maybe, I’ll say I didn’t care.. It’s just a shield to cover up the scars.

We afraid of height because we’ve fell
We afraid of the dark because we’ve heard those creepy stories
We afraid of having best friends because we’ve been betrayed or we’ve heard stories about betrayal
We afraid of love because we’ve been hurt, we’ve heard the stories of the whole cheating things.. the whole divorces things..

Then how can we recover?
Because someday.. The time for us to fall in love will come.. Unconsciously we’ll fall for someone.. No matter how big and strong our shield it’ll break down when we fell in love.
So is this mean that we’re gambling?

Well, in my opinion.. I don’t think so..
Because I think, we can control it by learn from the past
We make preparation so that we won’t make the same mistake twice
Or do we won’t make mistake just like they did
I know it seems that it’s so easy to say
But to denying our feelings just because we‘re afraid of what may come in the future is such a coward action. Because life is just different to each of us.
We have a different shoes, and with that shoes you’re the one who decide where you want to go. I’m not saying that we can be 100% safe, but it’s better to have preparation so that it won’t damage that much.
Just like preparing a boot for winter, a flip-flop for summer, a high-heels for party, etc..

So.. you.. we.. I better have a good sense of “style” in choosing our shoes..

Losing My ReliGion?!

2008-08-24T05:52:00.000-07:00

AAAAAAAAAAAAA...

I just want to scream.
I am lost, like really really lost rite now!!
I don't know what am I doing rite now!!
Aren't I supposed to get my ass work on my Proposal, instead of writing new post on my blog?! Gosh.. this is annoying, I can't concentrate at all
I'm losing control over my mind, my body, my heart, my feeling.. I AM LOST!!

I know it's not the time to complaining, or mumbling..
PEOPLE, IT'S TIME TO WORK!! why can't I just focus on my responsibility?? I think I am losing my religion.
I am losing my dream, I'm losing my hope..
Some said, "Don't get your hope up"
The other said, "Get your hope up!"
So, Which one?

The lectures said that we'll just gambling our fate..depending on their moods of that day. Damn, just typing this up really really make me feel like killing someone right now!! I think, Just because they have power to control our graduation doesn't mean that they can control our life right?!
I don't want to kiss their ass!! I'm not some scum bag who'll do anything beyond her principal just for what.. a piece of paper? a photograph of me wearing Toga? HELL NO!! I am a woman with my own principal..

I'm the one who'll determine my future, my fate!!
Screw you all.. You can stay here screwing students after students
But I'm moving!! I'm moving on.. Hell yeah..

YEAH!!
I'll prove you that I am beyond what you think am capable of!!
FIGHTING!!! OShhh....

FeLicia...

2008-08-23T03:34:00.000-07:00

What Felicia Means..

You are loving, compassionate, and ruled by your feelings.
You are able to be a foundation for other people... but you still know how to have fun.
Sometimes your emotions weigh you down, but you generally feel free from them.

You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone.
You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together.
At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together.

You are relaxed, chill, and very likely to go with the flow.
You are light hearted and accepting. You don't get worked up easily.
Well adjusted and incredibly happy, many people wonder what your secret to life is.

You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing.
You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long.
You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start.

You are very open. You communicate well, and you connect with other people easily.
You are a naturally creative person. Ideas just flow from your mind.
A true chameleon, you are many things at different points in your life. You are very adaptable.

You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.
You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.
You have the classic "Type A" personality.

Reasons, Purpose, and Dream

2008-08-13T20:20:00.000-07:00

Everyone was running desperately
Aiming for something
They were stretching their hands toward something
Which was invisible to the eye
Even if there is no goal there
Even if they had realized that their hand couldn’t reach it
They were still moving forwards it with all they had
But, I wonder
What I was doing
I was just staring
And I did not even try to stretch my hand out
I was scared of the result, and couldn’t take a single step forward
I was jealously watching the paths that everyone found with effort
By saying that I was different from everyone else, I was making an excuse for myself

I was just afraid of being hurt

If there is no map
You won’t know where to go
I thought you choose where to go after you seen the map
But, that was wrong
I am not lost because I don’t have a map
I.. don’t have a purpose

I wanted to move even faster
I wanted to go even further
Concentrating on that, I continued to pedal

-taken from Honey and Clover dorama-

We need reasons to do something, but what happened if we don't even have a single reasons?
I know it's easy to say, but it's hard to do..

why am I sitting here right now? What's my purpose?
I've always told anyone that my purpose to keep on moving these days was because I have this dream..a dream to open up my own cafe. But..
people say that I need to be mature and start thinking about work, love life, etc

My question is..Is that wrong to having a dream? Having a dream is childish? A dream is just meant to be just a dream? Am I dreaming to high??

So if it's not for reaching our dreams, then why are we living?

The Reality VS The Fantasy

2008-08-11T21:02:00.000-07:00

If I didn't care more than words can say
If I didn't care would I feel this way?
If this isn't love then why do I thrill?
And what makes my head go 'round and 'round
while my heart stands still?

If I didn't care would it be the same?
Would my every prayer begin and end with just your name?
And would I be sure that this is love beyond compare?
Would all this be true if I didn't care for you?

- Miss Pettigrew Lives For a Day -

We’re all a denier. We’re all pretender. We’re all liar.
Why do we have to do these?
The answer is simple: we’re all afraid
We deny our feeling because we’re afraid to be lost in love.
We pretend to be somebody else because we’re afraid to be left alone
We lie about the truth because we’re afraid that the truth will tear us down.
Again.. It’s still confusing me. Do we have to choose between the reality and fantasy?

In reality people say you have to consider not only about Love, because there’s no such a thing called happily ever after. You need to see the financial..

In Fantasy, we’re all believe in Love at first sight, Happily ever after, ‘till death do us part, for better for worse and Love conquer all..

Does the fantasy are meant to be just a fantasy?!
So there’s no such thing called FOREVER?!
SO we have to just ignoring our feeling and stick with the economical problem?
So, we’re all just a whore.. The thing we care about is just money..
So, money is the most important thing in the world?

But why do I feel terrible with those things?

So it is just the same as having a dream is only meant to just a dream. So that I’ll just have to go with life according to their plan?!

Does having a dream called childish?
Does believing in LOVE and life Happily Ever After is childish?
Am I childish??? Am I just a foolish, naïve, corny girl?!

'Till Death Do Us Part

2008-08-11T02:00:00.000-07:00

Death.. it comes.. it’ll come to all of us. The only questions we can’t explain about death is “when”. I can’t answer it, your mom can’t answer it, the doctor can’t answer it, even the priest can’t answer it. The only one that can control death is GOD. He can take us anytime he wanted to.

Ourlife is just for a rent. We pay them by living our life and make it into a precious life, and if GOD suddenly want to take the life that he rented for us it’s up to HIM. We can’t run from it. And the thing is..we can’t even predict it.

So when?? 50 years.. 40..30..20..10..8..5..1 or maybe months..weeks.. days..tommorow?! now???!

We don’t know, we ‘ll never know!!

So we better pay our rent quickly by living our life in the best way we could.. We don’t want GOD turning into some cruel Debt Collector right!?

So.. Strating from now..
Let’s do anything we want to do, saying anything we want to say, just anything..
Because when the time stop..
When our turn comes..
We won’t leave this world empty handedly
We bring memories..moments..
Laughter.. Joy..Tears..
But we’re not just leave like that, we stay..
Yes, some part of us will stay.. in our beloved friends and families hearts..

So, 'till death do us part, let's make memories to remember..

To FeeL The Pleasure Behind The Pain

2008-07-29T02:52:00.000-07:00

"The Fantasy is simple. Pleasure is good, and twice as much pleasure is better. That pain is bad, and no pain is better. But the reality is different. The reality is that pain is there to tell us something, and there's only so much pleasure we can take without getting a stomach ache. And maybe that's okay. Maybe some fantasies are only supposed to live in our dreams." - Meredith Grey, Grey's Anatomy..

"Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all"
- Three days Grace, Pain -

I've always wonder.. why it's even exist in this world.. the anger, the tears, the screaming, the stress, the fall down, the blood, the hurt, the pain... yes, THE PAIN..

what I'm talking about it's not just feeling.. but also physically
is it our curse made by Adam and Eve mistakes?!
But, I started to think that maybe it was a blessing from GOD to remind us all that we're not some kind of robot that feel nothing. We're a human being that can feel the pain and hurt by a broken heart, or the anger of the failure.. YES, that makes us different, we actually FEEL something.
We had a bad day.. then we got a bad hair day.. we fell down sometimes.. we cut our finger sometimes.. it's there to teach us to learn something..learning from our mistakes. That makes us special, we teach ourself with pain.

Thanks GOD for the pain!!
That surely make me an extraordinary human being!!
Always has.. always will..

Romantic or FooLish ??!!

2008-07-28T08:00:00.001-07:00

just yesterday.. I watched MTV on my cousin's house, and it's the MTV's Spanking New. A very unique song by The Script, tittled THE MAN WHO CAN'T BE MOVED.. you'll know why I thing this song is unique..

Going back to the corner where I first saw you,
Gonna camp in my sleeping bag not I'm not gonna move,
Got some words on cardboard got your picture in my hand,
Saying if you see this girl can you tell her where I am,
Some try to hand me money they don't understand,
I'm not... broke I'm just a broken hearted man,
I know it makes no sense, but what else can I do,
How can I move on when I've been in love with you...

Cos if one day you wake up and find that your missing me,
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I can be,
Thinking maybe you'd come back here to the place that we'd meet,
And you'd see me waiting for you on the corner of the street.

So I'm not moving...
I'm not moving.

Policeman says son you can't sit her,
I said there's someone I'm waiting for if it's a day, a month, a year,
Gotta stand my ground even if it rains or snows,
If she changes her mind this is the first place she will go.

Cos if one day you wake up and find that your missing me,
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I can be,
Thinking maybe you'd come back here to the place that we'd meet,
And you'd see me waiting for you on the corner of the street.

So I'm not moving...
I'm not moving.

I'm not moving...
I'm not moving.

People talk about the guy
Whos waiting on a girl...
Oohoohwoo
There on no hole in his shoes
But a big hole in his world...
Hmmmm

Maybe I'll get famous as man who can't be moved,
And maybe you won't mean to but you'll see me on the news,
And you'll come running to the corner...
Cos you'll know it's just for you

I'm the man who can't be moved
I'm the man who can't be moved...

Cos if one day you wake up and find that your missing me,
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I can be,
Thinking maybe you'd come back here to the place that we'd meet,
And you'd see me waiting for you on the corner of the street.
[Repeat in background]

So I'm not moving...
I'm not moving.

I'm not moving...
I'm not moving.

Going back to the corner where I first saw you,
Gonna camp in my sleeping bag not I'm not gonna move.

I know what you were thinking.. it's a silly lyrics..
a very foolish man, blindly in love, crazily in love.. just like a FOOL

But.. what got me thinking is that..
We need to stop mocking about the other, because sometimes..
sometimes, It'll make you lick your very own saliva

because the thing about life is that we can't predict it
we can have a goal, but there's things that we cannot controlled
and that's LOVE
wow.. what's going on with me, I've been talking about LOVE on and on lately
am I in LOVE?! with who??? silly...
am I wanting to be loved??! Am I feeling lonely??! (hell no!!)
am I curious about all the crazy adventures LOVE could take me??! (I think this is the answer..)

I am curious.. everybody is.. that makes us human..

Addicted to Sex and the City - part deux

2008-07-23T23:28:00.000-07:00

Good afternoon... I've just got home from my lunch time with my mom at SUI/IKI.. my famz fav restaurant.. we'll go there atleast once a week. I get bored of it sometimes but it a great Japanese restaurant with great foods such as Yaki udon, Ramen, Chicken teriyaki, Salmon yaki, tempura, cawanmushi.. and many many more...

Okay, enough about my lunch I want to continue what I've started.. hehe..
Here's some other quothes from Sex and The City.. from non other than Carrie Bradshaw...

No matter who broke your heart, or how long it takes to heal, You'll never get through it.... without your friends

Life doesn’t always turn out to be your fantasy, that’s why you need friendships that are real to get you through it all

Eventually all the pieces fall into place....until then, laugh at the confusion, live for the moment, and know that everything happens for a reason

When real people fall down in life, they get right back up and keep walking.

Life gives you lots of chances to screw up which means you have just as many chances to get it right

I'm looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can't-live-without-each-other love

Sometimes second chances work out even better than the first because you learn from your mistakes.

The most important thing in life is your family. There are days you love them, and others you don't. But, in the end, they're the people you always come home to. Sometimes it's the family you're born into and sometimes it's the one you make for yourself.

You shouldn't have to sacrifice who you are just because somebody else has a problem with it.

I admit it's tempting to wish for the perfect boss, the perfect parent, or the perfect outfit. But maybe the best any of us can do is not quit, play the hand we've been dealt, and accessorize what we've got

WOooo...
Come on, I know what you're thinking after you read all those quotes..
I know you want to watch it too.. HahAa..
Then don't hesitate yourself to do it.. it really is a great series.. trust me!!
There're still many touching quotes but I know I'll need at least another 10 posts to finished it..

from Sex and the City Movie trailer :
"fashions may come and go, but true friendships never go out of style"

A Good Day to Learn Somethings

2008-07-23T05:56:00.000-07:00

Before I continuing my "addicted to sex and the city" topics.. I just want to write about my day, today.
Today is Wednesday, it's my cousin, Russell 5th b'day.. so I and my mom and my aunts and her family and her nannies and her driver went to a orphanages and "Panti Jompo" sorry I don't know the English word for that, a place for elder without family and with mental or physics illness.. it's so heartbreaking seeing those innocent kid even babies abandoned by their parents.. There's this cute kid but unfortunately he only has one eye ball so his parents left him on the hospital..
And not just that, there's a teenage girl that's become crazy because he's been raped many times and her mother didn't do anything about it..

Thanks GOD for givin' me a place that I could call HOME

It makes me realize how lucky I am and I'm so grateful on who I am and where I come from.. I have these amazingly great family, there's good and bad times but my family they're always together, they never leave a man behind.

Back at home I finished up the 4th season of Grey's anatomy and there's these scenes about a boy, Jeremy and a girl, Beth both cute and both with brain tumor.. they both met in a some kind of brain tumor group.. it was when Jeremy is about to get his surgery.. and Beth just get very scare and nervous about the jeremy's surgery.. Then...

B : What if you die?
J : (holding her hands tightly!) I won't
B : What if I die?
J : you won't
B : Okay, but.. you change my life, Jeremy West. You made it better, You made it brighter, full of joy, and if I die....
J : Don't you dare to die.. we're not finished yet.. I'm not finished loving you

yeah, it was very touching, I cry like a baby, they're very much in love.. the sad part is the boy didn't made it. but the great thing is the girl, Beth, she didn't give up.. she said that Jeremy would be mad at her if she just gave up..
And here comes the bright side.. she's alive!!

Okay, now let's get back to the day before
at home I watched Grey's Anatomy, and again it made me cry.. with the scenes where there's a brain tumor patients that cause him to talk harrasly or laugh like a crazy man and he just got married to his rebound girl.. and he keep telling her to go get laid with other guy and ofcourse it hurt her very very much.. but the thing is he love her very much so that the reason he did it it's because he didn't want her wife to be all alone when he's gone!!

Then there's this episode about a gay soldier..
You know.. they're soldier they're supposed to be all manly not gay.. so the guy die without even telling his true feeling for his partner
I learn that all I need to do is just put on my mp3 player and stop thinking about others opinion.. just say what I want to say.. don't regret it.. because I know, we know.. we can't turn back..

yeah I learn a lot about family.. friendship and.. LOVE..

am I gonna get that kind of love?! Am I gonna be all drama free?!
Am I gonna get a pure, sweet, crazy about each other, always be there for better and worse, nervous when he's around, feeling happy and thankful everyday..but still keep being myself kind of LOVE?!
I'm a believer.. I'm an optimist.. and I'm a fighter..
Yes.. I believe that happily ever after is out there for me..

Goodluck to everyone then...

Addicted to Sex and the City - part une

2008-07-21T04:22:00.000-07:00

As I finished my “Sex and the City Marathon” time.. I could not wait to speak up my mind.. gosh I really really need to discuss this series with others.. so much topics, so much quotes, so much scenes.. So I’ll better get it started.. take it slow but sure and deep..
Let’s start some quotes from Carrie Bradshaw, the main character of this amazing series(for the record, these’re just some of them, there’re plenty of them..seriously!!)...

1. Carrie: Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous.
2. Carrie: Maybe some women aren't meant to be tamed. Maybe they need to run free until they find someone just as wild to run with them.
3. Carrie : When you're young, your whole life is about the pursuit of fun. Then, you grow up and learn to be cautious. You could break a bone or a heart. You look before you leap and sometimes you don't leap at all because there's not always someone there to catch you. And in life, there's no safety net. When did it stop being fun and start being scary?
4. Carrie : Maybe mistakes are what make our fate... without them what would shape our lives? Maybe if we had never veered off course we wouldn't fall in love, have babies, or be who we are. After all, things change, so do cities, people come into your life and they go. But it's comforting to know that the ones you love are always in your heart... and if you're very lucky, a plane ride away”

- to be continued

Dearest Susan.......With Love, vipe

2008-07-15T05:11:00.000-07:00

I dedicated this Aerosmith's songs to my friend Susan, who's been hurt and down but able to pull herself up and live up her life better than it's ever been..

Dream On by Aerosmith
Everytime that I look in the mirror
All these lines on my face gettin clearer
The past is gone
It went by like dust to dawn
Isnt that the way
Everybodys got their dues in life to pay

I know what nobody knows
Where it comes and where it goes
I know its everybodys sin
You got to lose to know how to win

Half my life is in books written pages
Live and learn from fools and from sages
You know its true
All the things come back to you

Sing with me, sing for the years
Sing for the laughter, sing for the tears
Sing with me, if its just for today
Maybe tomorrow the good lord will take you away
(x2)

Dream on, dream on
Dream yourself a dream come true
Dream on, dream on
Dream until your dream come true
Dream on, dream on, dream on...

we're a woman
but we're not just a woman
we're more than just a woman
we need no man to be not just a woman
all we need is ourself and it's own spirit
and a 'lil prayer.. and a huge dream to believe in..

FIGHTING!! osh..

God Explained In a Taxi Ride by Paul Arden

2008-06-29T19:39:00.000-07:00

I’ve just read Paul Arden’s 3rd book titled “God Explain in a Taxi Ride”. And I think this book is just like his first and second book, it’s so inspirational for me personally. In this book he explain about GOD, religion and many thing about GOD that makes me feel strong.. U know that I am an agnostic, I believe in GOD but I’m not involve in any religion.. So he said to believe in GOD won’t make me a religious person, but it’ll make me a spiritual person (see the different)..
“A young child asked his father if he could prove there is a God.
‘I can’t prove it,’ he said.
‘It’s like the wind. You can feel it, but you can’t see it.’”

It is very stupid I think to think that we’re all used to be monkey, or those beautiful scenery was happened because of an accidents.. it’s so stupid (no judgment)..
Not just that, he also wrote something that all of my religious friends keep bugging me about... it’s the after life.. :
“People scare of the dark because they don’t know what’s there.
As soon as they put the light on, they can see and feel safe.
We are all scared of dying, because we are afraid of the unknown.
To ease our fear of the dark, we invent explanations for the afterlife such as heaven and hell and reincarnation.
Like the light we switch on to feel safe.”

Then in the next page he wrote:
“The sun was made by God.
Religion is a light bulb, created by man to help him to see in the dark.”

There’re still many interesting things he wrote such as this one..
“Wars are started by ambitious men and women whose sense of humor plays no part in the serious business of running a country.
What if, instead of sending professional statesmen, with their self-importance and deadly seriousness, to an international war summit, we were to send some of our top humorists? Sacha Baron Cohen and Larry David, for instance.
Can you imagine this gathering of diplomats contriving to start a war?
They wouldn’t be able to, no matter how hard they tried. Their sense of humor forbids it.
When people declare war on others, they believe themselves to be just.
They believe that God is on their side.
God knows, they are insane.”

Hahah.. Interesting rite?! I used to be a huge fan of Paul Arden but now I love him even more..

The Power of Love

2008-06-26T05:15:00.000-07:00

I’ve got inspired by a Korean series titled “Someday”.. it is a very inspiring series. The story, the filming technique is definitely different than other Korean series.. when I show it to my friends who’s majoring in Visual Communication Design, she said this series is really good.. The color and the filming technique is like a Japanese series.. it have the thing called “Quality”.. The story itself is really different.. it’s about a girl name Hana, an artist, that’s been hurt in the past, so she can’t show her emotion, and she only think of love as a human hormone, a very very cold blooded girl.. then there’s Lee Soek Man, a boy that lost his family at an accident, then he work really hard to pay the medicine for a young boy that stay in coma because of that accident too, he’s a very warm and cheerful person, a super nice guy that love to help others..
It’s about how Hana change, from a cold person into someone that believe in love, an willing to sacrifice for love, waiting for love.. And there’s struggling in Soek Man’s life too, where he felt guilty for the accident that cost his family lives and only focus on money became LIFE again because of Love.. is love has that much of strength??
I don’t really understand what love is, I don’t I’ll sacrifice as much as Hana did in real life, I won’t be able if I have to wait.. if someone left me, I’ll definitely gonna move on as fast as I could!!
For me loving someone is hurt.. I don’t know why.. I just think that we must not giving our 100% for love.. What if we got cheated on?!
The thing is I’ve seen so much broken hearts.. but I’ve also seen a true happy ending..
Is happy ending only existing in movies?! Is it fake?!
Then what is love?! How can someone become so crazy about love?! Aren’t they even thinking before they do all the crazy things?!

Maybe I’m scared of love?! Am I??!
Maybe I’m just thinking too much of love on their negative sides..
Maybe I need to start believing in love
Maybe I need to be more faithful
Maybe I’m still naïve about love..

Maybe I need to surprise by love when the time come..
I believe there'll be tears of joy and tears of anger or tears of fun..
who knows?!

It's not a Dead End , just a Little Rocky RoaD

2008-06-17T21:14:00.000-07:00

I haven't write anything since a pretty long time.. I've got some bad news for me.. I failed my kolokiums... it's been such a big disappointment for me.. but I'm alright now.. maybe I just need to work harder than i tough, u know life is not that easy..
Just like a school without exams that'll be really boring.. so I think this is my "exam".. that i need to be more focus on what I'll do..
people said there's alot of roads to Rome.. so I guess my path to my "Rome" just a little rocky, maybe I'll run out a gasoline in the middle, but I'm sure I'll find a great gas station nearby.. just be patient and not stop trying..
So I write this to anybody who thinks that it was the end of everything.. hey.. it's not.. it's just a rocky road..
Good Luck then..^^

The Time of My Life

2008-05-22T06:52:00.000-07:00

I've just recieved Susan's comment..
So I decided to write somethin' here.. about my day, today. I'm very very happy rite now, my MAN..my GUY.. my AMerican idoL.. DAVID COOK.. he won!! yay..
These weeks have been a very busy weeks for me, I got to finished my final report for the 2nd internship, then I need to make some revision for my KOlokium's.. and I got 3 days and 2 nights weekends break to attend. SO tired but I'm alright with it, since I know that it was the consequences.. there's no easy road for a place worth livin'

Okay.. I've just called Susan, we talked about AI result show and Amore..
My tension get high whenever I talk about Amore.. a lot of things I want them to fix, but yes I kind of remembering a novel titled "Blindness", where they can "see" but they cannot "see".. just like Amore conditions, where there's so much mistakes, that's visible in front of them, but it feels like it's invisible, so they cannot see it.. or they can see, but they acted like they don't see it.

Okay, enough about Amore, let's talk about CooK.. yay.. it's CooKin' time!!
so happy that finally my choice win the competition, after some mourning for Chris Daughtry for AI 5 and Chris Richardson for AI 6..
Simon said david is one of the nicest sincere AI participants..
yay.. yay.. cannot stop cheering!!
He sang The Time of My Life on the end of the show, he looks very brave, I feel his charisma, his presence, his spirit of joy.. it's very touching..

If tonight is David time.. so when's mine??
when's the time of my life?
For me every seconds of my life is the time of my life.. I can make it the TIME, as long as I feel it was the TIME. So what's the point?
the point is not the moment but our feelings.
We can make a bad day be the TIME of our life.
Just have faith on ourself, we can our world a better place to be.. coz in the world I know, anything is possible.

Time of My life - writer : Reggie Ham

I’ve been waiting for my dreams
To turn into something
I could believe in
And looking for that
Magic rainbow
On the horizon
I couldn’t see it
Until I let go
Gave into love and watched all the bitterness burn
Now I’m coming alive
Body and soul
And feelin’ my world start to turn

*And I’ll taste every moment
And live it out loud
I know this is the time,
This is the time
To be more than a name
Or a face in the crowd
I know this is the time
This is the time of my life
Time of my life

Holding onto things that vanished
Into the air
Left me in pieces
But now I’m rising from the ashes
Finding my wings
[ Find more Lyrics at www.mp3lyrics.org/ewYA ]
And all that I needed
Was there all along
Within my reach
As close as the beat of my heart

* reff

And I’m out on the edge of forever
Ready to run
I’m keeping my feet on the ground
My arms open wide
My face to the sun

The Bond The Clover and The Musketeer

2008-04-28T08:42:00.000-07:00

It’s decided..
I’m going to study culinary, after I graduate in this whole communication major..
And I’m going to choose Baking and Pastry as my specialty. Thanks to my honey, caca, for supporting me..
Well, I still a ‘lil bit confused about where would I go. Should I go to Singapore, US.. And I need to consider about my famz financial condition bcoz I’m not from those rich and wealthy famz.. Haha.. but I do believe anything is possible if we put our mind on it. If we really want it, there’s got to be a way.
Opening a business with my friends will be really exiting. We’ve been best friends for more than 5 years, and we know all of our negative and positive side.. so I do believe that our team work will be great. Money or any selfish act won’t tear our friendship that easily. I believe that we’re much stronger than that.
Maybe we’ll have a different mind, we’ll argue, but we’ll make it trough.
I know we will…

Money, Greediness, Selfishness, Lust of fame, Anger..
Any of those seven deathly sins
It’s there.. There’re exist..
But I believe our bonding as The Musketeer Street to pursue our dreams together is much stronger than that. Just like The Four Leaf Clover, symbolize eternity.. And it’ll bring luck to all of us.. Fame, Wealth, Health, and Fateful Love.
We’ll carry on..
Because we’re not just friends anymore, we’re family.

If you ask me, witch one is more important for me between friends anf famz.. then I'll said "they're equal". My friends are my Family.. and My family are My friends..

The Bond..
The Clover..
The Musketeer..

It's my street, our street.. where there'll be no traffic jam.. It's got a lil rocky road, but it has a priceless scenery where we'll see smiles, laughter, tears, anger, anything
That I'll treasure forever..

Proud to be an "O"

2008-04-13T18:50:00.000-07:00

Di Jepang, ramalan ttg seseorang lebih ditentukan oleh golongan darah
daripada zodiak atau shio. Kenapa? Katanya, golongan darah itu
ditentukan oleh protein-protein tertentu yang membangun semua sel di tubuh
kita dan oleh karenanya juga menentukan psikologi kita. Benar apa tidak?

SIFAT SECARA UMUM :
A : terorganisir, konsisten, jiwa kerja-sama tinggi, tapi selalu cemas
(krn perfeksionis) yg kadang bikin org mudah sebel, kecenderungan
politik: "destra"
B : nyantai, easy going, bebas, dan paling menikmati hidup,
kecenderungan politik: "sinistra"
O : berjiwa besar, supel, gak mau ngalah, alergi pada yg detil,
kecenderungan politik: "centro"
AB: unik, nyleneh, banyak akal, berkepribadian ganda, kecenderungan
politik

BERDASARKAN URUTAN :
Yg paling gampang ngaret soal waktu :
1 B (krn nyantai terus)
2 O (krn flamboyan)
3 AB (krn gampang ganti program)
4 A (krn gagal dalam disiplin)

Yg paling susah mentolerir kesalahan org :
1 A (krn perfeksionis dan narsismenya terlalu besar)
2 B (krn easy going tapi juga easy judging)
3 AB (krn asal beda)
4 O (easy judging tapi juga easy pardoning)

Yg paling bisa dipercaya :
1 A (krn konsisten dan taat hukum)
2 O (demi menjaga balance)
3 B (demi menjaga kenikmatan hidup)
4 AB (mudah ganti frame of reference)

Menurut survey, gol darah yg paling disukai utk jadi teman :
1 O (orangnya sportif)
2 A (selalu on time dan persis)
3 AB (kreatif)
4 B (tergantung mood)

Kebalikannya, teman yg paling disebelin/tidak disukai:
1 B (egois, easy come easy go, maunya sendiri)
2 AB (double standard)
3 A (terlalu taat dan scrupulous)
4 O (sulit mengalah)

MENYANGKUT OTAK DAN KEMAMPUAN :

Yg paling mudah kesasar/tersesat
1 B
2 A
3 O
4 AB

Yg paling banyak meraih medali di olimpiade olah raga:
1 O (jago olah raga)
2 A (persis dan matematis)
3 B (tak terpengaruh pressure dari sekitar. Hampir seluruh atlet judo,
renang dan gulat jepang bergoldar B)

4 AB (alergi pada setiap jenis olah raga)

Yg paling banyak jadi direktur dan pemimpin :
1 O (krn berjiwa leadership dan problem-solver)
2 A (krn berpribadi "minute" dan teliti)
3 B (krn sensitif dan mudah ambil keputusan)
4 AB (krn kreatif dan suka ambil resiko)

Yg jadi PM jepang rata2 bergoldar :
1 O (berjiwa pemimpin)

Mahasiswa Tokyo Univ pada umumnya bergol darah : B

Yg paling gampang nabung :
1 A (suka menghitung bunga bank)
2 O (suka melihat prospek)
3 AB (menabung krn punya proyek)
4 B (baru menabung kalau punya uang banyak)

Yg paling kuat ingatannya :
1 O
2 AB
3 A
4 B

Yg paling cocok jadi MC :
1 A (kaya planner berjalan)

MENYANGKUT KESEHATAN :

Yg paling panjang umur :
1 O (gak gampang stress, antibody nya paling joss!)
2 A (hidup teratur)
3 B (mudah cari kompensasi stress)
4 AB (amburadul)

Yg paling gampang gendut
1 O (nafsu makan besar, makannya cepet lagi)
2 B (makannya lama, nambah terus, dan lagi suka makanan enak)
3 A (hanya makan apa yg ada di piring, terpengaruh program diet)
4 AB (Makan tergantung mood, mudah kena anoressia)

Paling gampang digigit nyamuk :
O (darahnya manis)

Yg paling gampang flu/demam/batuk/pilek
1 A (lemah terhadap virus dan pernyakit menular)
2 AB (lemah thd hygiene)
3 O (makan apa saja enak atau nggak enak)
4 B (makan, tidur nggak teratur)

Apa yg dibuat pada acara makan2 di sebuah pesta :
O (banyak ngambil protein hewani, pokoknya daging2an)
A (ngambil yg berimbang. 4 sehat 5 sempurna)
B (suka ambil makanan yg banyak kandungan airnya spt soup, soto, bakso
dsb)
AB (hobby mencicipi semua masakan, "aji mumpung")

Yg paling cepat botak :
1 O
2 B
3 A
4 AB

Yg tidurnya paling nyenyak dan susah dibangunin :
1 B (tetap mendengkur meski ada Tsunami)
2 AB (jika lagi mood, sleeping is everything)
3 A (tidur harus 8 jam sehari, sesuai hukum)
4 O (baru tidur kalau benar2 capek dan membutuhkan)

Yg paling cepet tertidur
1 B (paling mudah ngantuk, bahkan sambil berdiripun bisa tertidur)
2 O (Kalau lagi capek dan gak ada kerjaan mudah kena ngantuk)
3 AB (tergantung kehendak)
4 A (tergantung aturan dan orario)

Penyakit yg mudah menyerang :
A (stress, majenun/linglung)
B (lemah terhadap virus influenza, paru-paru)
O (gangguan pencernaan dan mudah kena sakit perut)
AB (kanker dan serangan jantung, mudah kaget)

Apa yg perlu dianjurkan agar tetap sehat :
A (Krn terlalu perfeksionis maka nyantailah sekali-kali, gak usah
terlalu tegang dan serius)
B (Krn terlalu susah berkonsentrasi, sekali-kali perlu serius sedikit,
meditasi, main catur)
O (Krn daya konsentrasi tinggi, maka perlu juga mengobrol santai,
jalan-jalan)
AB (Krn gampang capek, maka perlu cari kegiatan yg menyenangkan dan
bikin lega).

Yg paling sering kecelakaan lalu lintas (berdasarkan data kepolisian)
1 A
2 B
3 O
4 AB

I got it from here :
http://www.mail-archive.com/bursa-otomotif@yahoogroups.com/msg00007.html

Haha, I'm proud to be an "O"

This Is My Freaking Shoe!!!

2008-04-07T04:14:00.001-07:00

okay.. I think enough is enough..
just stop it!!
stop telling me what to do
stop telling me what I should be
stop telling me anything about me...
just SHUT UP!!!

here's the thing, I know what I like and I certainly know what I want. And I know who I am.. I am a rebel, a true rebellion, I'm dedicated myself to be it. So, when u tell me what to do or what I shouldn't do I'll just turn it upside down..u know what I mean?

I'm a straight forward person, So I'll tell you what I like and what I want..so, if I were u, I'll back off!! the more u pushing me, the more I'm pulling away..
The more u giving me this "whole" crap, the more I hate it!!
But, thank u.. it makes me realize that I really am hate "those" world..

I don't want anyone but be to determine the shape of my life
I don't want anyone but me making the decision about my life
Live in your own life, stop living in mine..
stop making me to be like you
I am who I am.. I'll walk on my own shoe and you won't fit on it!!

Thank u for listen, or read...

Let The Sixth Sense Talk

2008-04-02T19:15:00.000-07:00

Tarot.. Fortune telling.. ohh..I love those things…
Yesterday in aMOre, once again I met Ms. Rosa, a smart and wonderful PR which really really friendly and nice to me. She brought her friends, Singgih. And it turns out that she and her friends having those sixth sense things.. So I got them to read me..

From the first card, which I forgot the name of the cards..I’ve been told that I have some dark past, but I’ve got over with it..it said I got “something” that I really really want in the future, it said that right now, I have this worry inside of me (which I said yes, because honestly I’m scare as hell about my path that I choose), but I am a very lucky person because I have a lot of great friends and family that support and love me..and it said that to reach my goals I have to “divine timing”, I need to focus on what to do first before I do another things.. So that I get what I wanted, because I got the “answered prayer” card.. yay!! And in love life I got this three cards : blessing, children, and friendship
Which mean that I’m not thinking about romance right now, but one day through my friends I’ll get my partner of life.. yay!!

From the second cards, tarot:
Again he said that I have this dark past, but it’s all over because based on the card right now, I’ve been moving forward and life my life with full of passions.. Then got “the fool” card, which explain I am a naive person that doesn’t want to hear what anyone in my surrounding said.. But I am a tough, a strong and a brave person.. and I got “age of wands” which explain that my dream can come true (the picture it’s a big tree that grow in the top of stones)..but I have to keep my guard up because if not, something or someone will hurt me or bring me down… then he said I got this great card which I forgot what the name is, that said I’ll be a successful person but… my partner of life will be bigger that me… yay!!

Haha… I love it.. for me.. all we have to do about fortune telling is just take what the positive and be aware fro n the negative ones… your life is much much bigger than your palms.. your life is worth more than a tarot card… our life is a wonderful blessing..so live it!!!

Special thanks to KoHan, without him I wont be able to met Ms. Rosa.. and his friend, Mr. Singgih…
And to my friends and fams.. thank u for making me a full of spirit and loving person…

POWER UP!!!

2008-03-30T01:17:00.000-07:00

yeah it's been a while since my last post..
These few days I've been feeling down, out of focus, confused, bored, lazzy.. just really really tired.
But since yesterday, when my famz and frenz came to aMOre to visit me, I feel how uncountable love that I rechieved from them. what really touch me is that my moms who'll sleep like a baby at 21:00 came with my famz at 21:30..wow!! awesome!!
Then seeing them eating happily and satisfied with aMOre, the smiles on their faces..their spirit just fill up my body!!
Then back with my frenz that seems really really enjoying their lasagna, I feel glad that they love it..

Those whole things make me think how lucky I am to have this life, how beautiful my life is... and it makes me wanting to make my dream to open my own cafe to be not just a dream but a reality. Because I love to see those smiles, joy, and laughter..I want to see it, when I be the one who serve it to them..
Listening to others saying that my place, my food, my cafe can give them a joyfull experience with the people we love..

Then imagine,
what am I gonna be I don't have those kind of famz
How am I doing if I don't have those kind of frenz
What will I do, if I don't have dreams..if I don't have a purpose to life..
Something to fight for!!

Imagine by John lennon

imagine there's no heaven
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today...

Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace...

You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will be as one

Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world...

You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will live as one

The New Big Thing

2008-03-04T18:52:00.000-08:00

Being somebody else inspiration!
Yes.. I think I’ve just found my another big dream.
This crazy tought just pop up all suddently while I was sitting at my car, looking at the road, day dreaming, remembering the past..Then remembering Susan’s testimonial about me, then this think came out.. so, thank u Suzie!!
You know, reading those “thank you” and bla..bla.. bla.. that Suzie wrote at her blog make me feel huge, it feels like I meant something, it makes me happy and just really really damn good!
So in my new big dream here I want to be someone that can encourage others, pursue them to believe in dream, pursue them to have faith in their self, pursue them to be dare and free. And I want to be someone that whenever anyone hear my story the’ll be inspired, they’ll realize about believing in dream and hope, they’ll realize how beautiful this life can be.

I don’t know what else to said, but this is my new big goal I guess.. Haha.. it’s okay to have some crazy huge silly dream, because when we know what we wanted that’ll keep us alive, we wont be like zombie, “living body but empty soul walking”.
As for me, I’ve got inspired by many people, many movies, many musics, many books.. suck as Paul Arden, Chris Garver… Sex and the City… The calling – Our Lives… etc…
Some clue from me, you’ll need not just something to inspire you, but also someplace to get inspired.. for me I found my self oftenly get inspired at my car while I was with no one, listening to my music.. and also in my bed while I’m trying to sleep… So find your own place.

From my work place last night :
I’ve talked about my big dream with Mr. Darwin. I told him that I want to open my own café one day, and I want it to look like, the building, the interior, the uniform, the environmental friendly concept, the kitchen, etc.. And it feels good you know, to have a dream, a purpose to life, something to fight for!!

The calling – Out Lives
Is it love tonight
When everyone's dreaming
Of a better life
In this world
Divided by fear
We've gotta believe that
There's a reason we're here
Yeah, there's a reason we're here

*)Cause these are the days worth living
These are the years we're given
And these are the moments
These are the times
Let's make the best out of our lives

See the truth all around
Our faith can be broken
And our hands can be bound
But open our hearts and fill up the emptiness
With nothing to stop us
Is it not worth the risk?
Yeah, is it not worth the risk?

back to *)
Even if hope was shattered
I know it wouldn't matter
Cause these are the moments
These are the times
Let's make the best out of our lives

We can't go wrong
Thinking it's wrong
To speak our minds
I've gotta let out what's inside

Is it love tonight
When everyone's dreaming
Can we get it right?
Yeah, well can we get it right?

Back to *)

Hope this song can inspire you too! Good luck..

Make My Move

2008-03-04T07:32:00.000-08:00

It’s been about 10 days I’ve been working at Amore Gelato café to fulfill my 2nd internship program. Here’s what I tought about the worker inside. Well, I think the female worker, they’re kind of closing the door for new comer like me, that’s totally the opposite from the male worker. This conclusion came because when I tried to get closer to the waiters, chasier and gelato girl at the lobby, they didn’t want to talk much with me. Until now, there’re only 3 girls that actually nice and want to talk with me and the other they just smile or ignore me sometimes.
But, the male worker which most of them working at the kitchen, they’re more curious abut new comer, they ask my name, they trying to make a confersation with me. Among them I get close with the head cheff, Mr. Darwin, 30, he’s from Bogor, West Java that’s why I think he’s talkative. We talk a lot, it’s good you know to listen to other experience it makes me want to go and get my own adventures. He said from his experience traveling around Indonesia and meeting new people, it makes him become a great judge in judging people on the first meeting. First he asked me if I am stone headed then I said yes I am, well he’s glad so that his judgment it’s right, then he asked what kind of person I am, then I just said that I am selfish, childish, straight forward, I do whatever I want, etc… then he said that he didn’t think I’m egoist because an egoist wouldn’t admit it. Then I told him about Lawrence J. Peter quote :

“There are two kinds of egoist, first is those who admit it and the second is the rest of us”

I think everybody, every single person in this world is egoist, so it’s no use denying it. There’s nothing wrong with egoism.
Don’t let anyone control you, the only one that allow to do it just you and you.
Every problem always has an exit way, all you have to do is stands up for your dream and hope bravely and daring any consequences that might come.
Take all the blaming just like I said previously, I know it’s not easy but you can do it!
Never say NO to anything, don’t be scare to try something new..
This life, this is a real life where everthing isn’t always smooth and good looking. But those scars that we’ll get, that’ll make us stronger, wiser, and bigger!!
Let’s face it with a lot of excitement.. Damn! I love this life!!

So Real So Good!!

2008-02-29T08:36:00.000-08:00

One Republic - All We Are

I tried to paint you a picture, the colors were all wrong
Black and white didn't fit you
And all along, you were shaded with patience, your strokes of everything that I need just to make it

And I believe that I could tear you apart but it won't break anything that you are, you are
We'll say our goodbyes you know it's better that way
We won't break, we won't die
It's just a moment of change
All we are, all we are, is everything that's right
All we need, all we need, our love is at a bind

I walked a minute in your shoes, they never would've fit
I figured there's nothing to lose
I need to get some perspective on these words before I write them down
You're an island and my ship is running ground

I could tear your apart, but it won't break anything that we are, we are
We'll say our goodbyes you know its better that way
We won't break, we won't die
It's just a moment of change
All we are, all we are, is everything that's right
All we need all we need, our love is at a bind
Every single day that I can breathe, you changed my philosophy
I'm never gonna let you pass me by
So don't say your goodbyes you know its better that way
We won't break, we won't die
It's just a moment of change [x2]
All we are, all we are, is everything that's right
All we need, all we need, our love is at a bind.

it's freaking great right.. it's so real and there's no bullshit about promising or swearing about some imaginative love story...
I'm totally in love with OneRepublic their lyrics are always real and touching..

Mami's Super Power!!!

2008-02-29T08:09:00.000-08:00

I’ve just got a bad day. Here’s the story :
I’ve told you that I’m taking the 1st period of the kolokium. And it started with a disaster actually. I didn’t know that there’s a schedule for it, I didn’t see it anywhere and so did my friends. And I supposed to give my topic to the mentor on feb 4th, then I talked to her (Mrs. Yuli, my 1st and 2nd internship mentor) and she let me to give it to her the next day.. A week pass by…
Then Yuli announced the presentation schedule then she told me to talk with “Cik Prid” too. And u know what?! That ugly mean b%$#h said “NO” and “NO”

I’m in a very deep shock.. a real deep shock!!
There’re only these words going around my head :
- F*ck!
- Sh*T!
- B**ch!
And a lot of animals.. haha..
And right at that moment I realize that I was just doing one of the thing that I hate the most “BLAMING”.. yes, I was blaming that b**ch!! Damn… it’s like licking my own saliva!! I know it is very difficult to take the responsible, to take the blame for what happened on me, it’s not easy to always be positive and optimistic in a very bad situation.. but hey, lucky me I’ve found a good way to get over it..
First to do is calling my best friend, Anita which I believe she’ll laugh at me then mocking me.. but I prefer that kind of responses than those "mourning like" response. I’m not a big fan of getting any word "oohh... poor you, are you okay?" from others, it feels so weak.I don't need someone to make me more sad, i need someone to make me laugh about it!! And Just like I’ve just predicted, she laughed at it and I laughed at it too… 15% reduce
Then, I got into my car, putting some rock music, high volume..then I just singing..screaming out loud.. as tears goes down on my face.. after about 15-20 minutes.. another 35% reduce

But the thing that makes me 100% healed it’s simple.. u know I haven’t seen my mom for almost 2 weeks, she went to Singapore.. Then I picked her up with my bro.
Believe it or not, just by seeing her, hugging then kissing her it feels like a warm feeling flowing into my body.. Then with the talking and joking around with her and my bro it makes all those bad things that’s just happened today just “puff”..it’s gone
When I was a kid I used to always got in a fight with my mom. But you know as time goes by and as I grew up it turned out that my mom and I actually could be a very good friend.. She’s changing, I’m changing.. with the help of my aunties and uncles she’s changing too. So Thank u so much KuKulie, meme, Kukubing, Mama, kumafong, Om Young, Tante Rini, etc…

I know my mom, she’s not perfect.. she can’t cook, she’s too strict sometimes, she’s moody, she’s selfish, she’s childish but I think she’s the most wonderful mom in the world. She love me, she’s kind and caring, she’s funny, everyone love her..

This is life, nobody perfect… My point is no matter how cruel your mom could be she’ll always still be your mom. You have to respect them, all u need to do is remembering one simple question. “who brought you here, in this world, in this planet?”

Thank you very very much Mami!
To make me grow up, being such a optimist and happy person
To shine up my days (even sometimes u make it dark too.. Haha, that’s a real relationship think.. not just smile and laugh but also those tears and arguing)
Tomorrow it’s another day, tomorrow it’s a new start
Tomorrow will always come!!
Stand up bravely and face tomorrow with a whole new spirit…

the Birthday GirL

2008-02-13T00:20:00.000-08:00

yeah.. I'm turning 20 today.. and at fisrt I think this is a nightmare. You know, about being a woman in their 20s with no boyfriend, because in my tradition woman should have been married before 25 or 30. But after a lot of thinking and thinking and another thinking I think turning 20 it's actually my new start.
this is my new era, where I'll get more freedom from my famz. And I think this is where my dream come true in the making. yes, now I just love being woman in their 20s with no man, just a single and indepent woman that can count on herself! Nice!

Some friends asked me, when I want to be marry? and i simply answer them "well, I think the best age ist's about after my 25. And their just like, "What?!". And I just think I love single, because I think this is actually my opportunity to go as wild as I like.. to be someone as crazy as I want.. to hang out with my buddies as much as I love.. Yes, I am so in love with my life right now..

My wishes in my birthday :
- I want to graduate in 3.5 years
- I want to have more power, more spirit, more energy to chase and reaching my dreams.

Where r the boyz wishes?! well, I wonder where.. Who's my dream man?

I want my future man to be someone that can take full responsibility to his own life before he took mine. I want someone that accept and love me as I am, someone that'll hold my hands when I'm scared, someone who'll hold me when I get down, someone who'll support me to reach my goals, someone that's honest, kind and gentle. I don't need a man with words, because words is useless without actions. I don't need roses or diamons, all I need is every simple and little things he do.

Haha.. so I hope this birthday girl can be wiser and crazier than ever..
Good Luck to you ME!

Are we or Aren't we ?!

2008-02-12T06:48:00.000-08:00

Okay, currently I'm kind of addicted to Sex and the City.. I found a lot of questions from that show. you know, in that show the main character Carrie with her 3 best friends which I found look a lot like me and my three best friends where we talk about a lot of things (but not sex). And today I've just got the intercultural communication class's final test. And I think and just keep thinking by myself, about low and hight context and which one is better and I just don't know.
It's really is confusing. Is staying virgin a wrong thing to do? do we really really need to do a "test drive" before marriage? is dating supposed to be casual relationship or a bonding relationship?! Is that wrong to be a successful woman? Is that wrong to be single in our 30s? Is being married really that worst?

And many many more questions?

Not just from Sex and the City from other movies I also found that low-context people they don't say the words "I love you" that easily and I think that's a good thing to do. You know I've been in a relationship before and I know it's really really difficult for to say "aku sayang kamu". And I just don't know why..but my tounge just twisted up and I can't say those words.. That's why I kind of confused when I my boyfriend (at that time) told me to say those words.. For me those words cannot been speaked out unless we really really meant it. (in a relationship, it's easy for me to say I love u mom or dad or my other famz).

And about being virgin.. okay honestly "test drive" is a must do. I know in my culture it's taboo. But, I don't care I mean based on my research from movies, books, and my families stories (u know they talk about sex in front of me, they're really really open about it). Sex is one of the "key" to a marriage. it's also good medically and mentally, to keep the intimacy of those couple. Call me a whore.. but that's what I believe.

Successful woman?! I want to be a success and independent woman that can count on herself, financially ofcourse. But u know there's thing called "bachelor" about a single man, rich, successfull, good looking.. which will be haunt by every single woman. but how about "bachelorette" a single woman, successfull, and good looking.. no one want to be with her, man are affraid of those woman. Why? is that wrong? Come on, woman have dreams..woman have power.. don't be such an selfish asshole.. damn!

We're all living on the same universe, we breath on the same air, we're eating from the same land that called earth.. why man and woman can't be the same? Why there's no specific word to described a man-whore or a man-bitch.. why it's all only for woman?

NIGHTMARE at Studio XXI

2008-02-09T03:48:00.000-08:00

Okay, I need to take a deep breath before I write down my story
it began at 18.40 on Feb 08th '08 at Studio XXI, the 3rd studio (I think!!)
the nightmare is movie I watched, it called KUNGFU DUNK.. yes it's Jay Chow's movie
that thing, it cannot be described as a movie..it's a nightmare!!
I wonder who the fuck is the writer?! he doesn't have a brain I guess, the scenario is..Euww..
there's no conflict, the story..arght!! I can't even described it with words
A kungFu centre in a middle of a modern city?!
A basketball Tournament that worth a fight with the gangster?!
A new boy in team, and no one at the team is bother by him?!
No conflict!!
A KungFu fight at the middle of a BasketBall tournament?!
A weird "gigolo-like" costumes as uniform?!
A turning back time???!!! what the fuck?!

This isn't heroes, OMG..
Jay Chow acts is just awfull, I think he's always do the same character at his movies, juat like in Initial D and The Secret.. he played a sweet innocent and quite guy with huge talent... Sory Jay, but you suck!!

From the bad thing, here comes the good one..
yay...
Currently I'm addicted to this song. I've always love Kpop, I think Kpop songs oftenly got a great lyrics..and I've always love Sg wannabe since I heard their song titled "partner of life", where the Mv is staring Kim Dong Wan (Shinhwa's member) that's really really a real heart breaking MV..
And in their newest album I'm falling in love with this ong...
These are the translation, taken from www.aheeyah.com

Sg Wannabe - First Snow

On the first day that it snowed, I held your hands tightly
We treaded on the softly fallen snow
I didn't know that the most beautiful person in the world,
Will be the one to hurt me
We said goodbye, You left me
The one who let go of my hand so cold-heartedly

I love you... Even though it pains my heart, it's alright
I love you... Even though my tears flow, it's okay
If you are happier with someone else than you were with me, it's fine
Because... I love you

I ended up crying seeing the image of your back, leaving me
I loved you so much...

I love you... Even though it pains my heart, it's alright
I love you... Even though my tears flow, it's okay
If you are happier with someone else than you were with me, it's fine
Because I love you

On the days that the snow falls again,
On such days, I always end up thinking of you
What am I supposed to do every time that happens?
How am I supposed to forget you and still keep on living?

You were the person who lived inside my heart
I devoted my whole life to you
If the heavens will allow a day for us to meet again,
On such a day, let's not be apart

And these are the MV...

aa... so sweet isn't it?!
didn't really make sense but it's sweet right?!

A new start and a Farewell

2008-02-06T03:22:00.000-08:00

Start...
yeah.. it's been a while, I've been quite busy. doing a lot of things like baking, reading, and another reading. recently I got some good news for me, the things that fire up my spirit again! yay... I can take the kolokium class together with the EKK class. So I guess my target, my dream to graduate in 3.5 years still on my track.

Then..
I'm watching a lot of new movie trailers today, such as Jumper, Hayden Christensen's movie, The Dark NIght, etc. But one simple movie that attrack me so much is a movie titled Sleepwalking, it's a movie about family and I don't know how to explain it, but there's a simple quote on the trailer.. "JOleen is a woman that stuck in yesterday... James is a man that cannot imagine tomorrow.. Lara is a girl that trapped in the middle".. see it's really really interesting right?!

The FareweLL...
This afternoon my friend, Mr. John went to America for about 1 month to continue his last operation (he has cancer). So me and my fams we're calling him to say good bye. I talked with him, "Hey, Mr. John it's me Feli" then he reply "Oh, my cat" (he always calls me cat, from Felix the cat so I'm Feli the cat). I said good luck, get well soon, and come back soon. And said happy Chinese new year to him.. I'm gonna miss him, my fams gonna miss him too. He's a great man, he's smart , he's funny, and really really nice...

Becoming NERD!!!

2008-02-01T06:09:00.000-08:00

Okay, I've spend this last 2 weeks reading, this is really really suck!! why? because the non-original dvd stands in PTC were all close!! Damn.. while I'm still in the middle watching Kdrama BAD LOVE by Kwon Sang Woo, the cute sexy guy..hmm..love him!!
I've read His Dark Material Trilogy by Philip Pullman :
1. The Golden Compas
2. The Subtle Knife
3. The AMber Spyglass

I read it because I've just watched the movie which played by Daniel Craig and Nicole Kidman that I think was a good movie, great effect..And one think that makes me really really interested in the books was beacues it said that there's an atheist site that Philip Pullman wrote on those books. ANd I just wanted to check it out!!
And I do agree with those statement, I won't tell you why. I'll just let you borrow the books from me if you want to know and read it yourself. The sory itself was interesting but somehow I just felt boring while reading it..

It's totally different when I read Harry Potter #7, the book is really really totally 100% interesting, I can't stop readin and keep reading it, I only spend 2 days to finish it!! From the very first chapter we already feel the thrill. A lot of actions and also a lot of death. But it's amazing!!! trust me!!

and currently I'm on my way finishing Eldest, the 2nd books of the Christopher Paolini trilogy.. and as soon I finished it, I've prepared The Bartemius Trilogy.. which start with The Amulet of Samarkand..

Reading is a good thing to do
it'll give you a lot of new knowledge
it'll give you thrill, sadness, exitement, etc...

it doesn't have to be a 'heavy' books
a 'light' books, fantasy, romance, actions
anything!!
It'll give you something to learn

This is the day, the 'it' day

2008-01-24T07:38:00.000-08:00

Okay, there're 4 reason that makes this day is the day.. a lot of things.. sadness, happiness, stupidness, etc...

1. Yesterday night I found out that one of my favourite actor my dearest Heath Ledger have found death on his flat. these year I've been looking foward to see his actions on batman's together with Christian Bale.. SO sad, Love u Heath!!

2. Then on the afternoon I talked to Mrs. Veve, and she said that we must have taked EKK class before we start the kolokium, and my head started to spinning around.
After doing some thinking and think and more thinking.. Aha, I think I still have the 2nd options, where I have to take the kolokium together with 'skripsi'.. Okay, calm down, there's a way..

3. I'm happy, like really really happu.. my mood goes up really really high.. got a new cellphone, Sony Ericsson k850 yay... so exited, then I went to PTC with Angel, Anita, Ce Vonny, and Mr. Meyer. We're watching American Gangster which I tought was boring because there're no god-looking guy on screen..Haha...

4. This was the most embarasing moment of my life, you know after movie we decided to have dinner at Leko, then we go to my car then I drove to leko. Then by the time I want to get out of the car I can't find my sandals. After I review my memories I think i left my sandals at PTC parking area. It has been my behavior to take off my sandals or shoes whenever I drive.. And I think this is what actually happended..
'I take of my sandals one by one while I get into the car, then so long sandals'.
This is silly, Anita said it looked like a cinderella story, but you left both of them..
So stupid. I think this is the proof that maybe my mind is not really really that positive after I heard the news from Mrs. Veve earlier this day. Just like The Secret say that if we think something bad on and on, It'll atracted more bad things to us...

Oh btw, yesterday night I've finished Harry Potter 7th, and I think this book is amazingly awesome.. A lot of thrilling scene, when Harry broke into the minister building, then to the Bank that's being guard by goblins, the war..it's exiting, even there're few people that I wish they won't die such as Fred, Lupin, Tonks and mad-eye Moody...

No quotes from me..
Gotta make my mood life again now..
Wish me luck!!

Something on my mind...

2008-01-16T07:13:00.000-08:00

In this ordinary night, after I brushed my teeth, wearing my night-cream, wearing my pijamas, and not in the mood on reading.. I just don't know what am I supposed to do. then I just stand right there, straing at the mirror, day-dreaming.. trying to focusing my minds on what I want and try to make the pictures of it (just like what I read on "The Secret"), I just feeling boring. wondering when can I get out of this boring dailly activities. So.. why don't I write something on my blog.. eh..

Okay, I've just finished reading my friends blog, where she wrote a testimonial and gratitude for me and her other friends, she just moved me. Like really really touch my heart, just makes me love myself more.. where she said that she think I am the most crazy and rebellion person that she ever met, but she think I have my own principles. And she said that she learn to be herself, to do whatever she wanted to do, and to not listen what others think about us.. She makes me proud of myself.

"There are two kinds of egoists, first are those who admits it and The rest of us" - Lawrence J. Peter
You know, people always said that I am immature, selfish, lazzy, just a dreamer.. but hearing that someone is learning something from me makes me feels that I can do something to others too. I always thought that I'm just an ordinary girl, with her huge dreams and big plan on her life which is really really egoist, stupid.
But you know what?! I don't care anymore..

"This is your life..are you who you want to be?!..." - Switchfood

YES! this is my life
There're no such things as time machine, so we can't go back
NO REGRET..
just do what you want to do
talks to your heart
don't be afraid of mistakes, beacuse mistakes is the best lecture that you could ever had! NO TURNING BACK..
I am what I am
I love tattoo, I love Rock Music, and I'm an Agnostic
I'm proud of what I am now
I'm a person with dream, so I know where to go right now, I'm not lost again
I know it's easy to get my dream, but it's worth trying..

"people become rich and powerfull by wanting to be rich and powerfull" - Paul Arden

shut up and listen!!

2008-01-08T08:27:00.000-08:00

I'm an agnostic
I'm an agnostic...

arght.. no matter how much you'll mock me, I'll still be an agnostic..
Okey, do you want me to say, okey I'm an christian, I'll go to church everyweek, but.. deep down inside my heart, I AM AN AGNOSTIC!!

"going to chruch doesn't make you a christian anymore than going to garage make you a mechanic" Lawrence J. Peter

I don't want to lie to myself
I don't want to play dress up here, I just want to be me.. an agnostic
I am what I am
please don't try to makes me do things that is not me!!
things that's totally the opposite of me, stop trying to make me someone else but me!!

I love myself the way I am!!
I'm a rebel
I'm an agnostic
I am ME!!!!

Life is a choice...

2007-10-21T08:32:00.000-07:00

yesterday, a man with a "Special sense" read my palm and he said that pastry is not my "thing", he said studying aboard isn't my "thing", he said I'll have 2 kids, I'll met someone on my work place, etc...

I personally love fortune telling and this kind of thing, but for me those not just my fate, not something that I've destined to. For me is my challenge, some kind of sign, allert so I need to work harder to make something that I want come true.. Well, like I said life is a choice, it's up to you.. don't blame on fate!! that was your choice..

it's better to regret something that you have done than haven't...

my first spaghetti!!

2007-10-19T22:38:00.000-07:00

okay, it's saturday..it's 12.40 and ve just finished my lunch
I made it, I cooked it.. yay...
it's Tomato Spaghetti...

fisrt I put salt in a boiling water than at the spaghetti
then in another pan I at butter 'til hot then at the onion
after it turn a lil' bit brown, I at the chopped tomatos then mix it, then I at a tomato sauce.. mix it.. at salt+pepper+sugar+ (my special ingredient).. then mix it
leave it with a small fire,
After the spaghetti is well cook, put it on the sauce pan then mix it with huge fire..

then serve it..
since it's my first time, I eat it with a very very undescriable feeling!! it's not just good, it's GREAT!!

this makes me love cooking even more..

sorry my english is not that good... but I've tried my best!!

The feel of the first time...

2007-10-19T07:34:00.000-07:00

my first post..
tryin' to expose ME...
don't know exactly what to write... Nervous... COnfuse..

maybe I'll start with write down my dream, well.. maybe my english is not that good but I hope everyone could understand it, haha..

Okay, my dream.. I WANT to open my own cafe, handle the menu, handle the operational, handle avery detail of it.. The design concept, The building, the interior. Want to make it natural, back to nature.. sweet, warm, fresh.. There'll a lot of trees outside, a lot of windows..hmm...

How will I pursuit my dream?!
okeh... right now I'm in my 5th semester, I'm studying at Petra Christian University, majoring in Communication Science.. so, I'll try my best to graduate at my 7th semester..so here's my plan:

- January '08 : Short Semester
- 6th semester : KOlokium + Internship 2 + Etprof
- July '08 : Short Semester
- 7th Semester : Skipsi (don't know what the english for it)
- March '09 : GRADUATE.. yay!!

all of my friends tough it was imposible for me, because the tough I'm childish and just a lil' mommy's girl.. BUt I'll prove to the world, I'm challenging myself. I CAN DO IT!! I have to be optimist, have faith, work hard!!

After I gradute, I want to study culinary art, right now I'm thinking about going to Korea, there's Le Cordon Blue, one of the best culinary school in the world.. I'm focusing in pastry, cake, dessert. And I want to get the Coffee MBA, so I can arrange my cafe menu... Then after about 2 years studying I want to work in a cafe or restaurant or hotel so I can gain more experince before i started my own..

I think for this time that's my plan, I'll do whatever it takes to get it!!

I read Paul Arden's book, and he said "it's not how good you are, it's hoe good you want to be, so how good you want to be?", then in the other book he said, "it's better regret something that you have done than haven't."